So, I got a call the other day. It was Tuesday. I could tell because the Gilmore Girls was (were?) on. I note this only because it's so damned typical of how I know what day it is, that is to say, if I know what day it is. Not working, no school, no schedual. It's alright. Except sometimes I show up places and nothing is open. These times are called "Sundays" and they tend to get in the way.
Anyway "the call," I was out on that hoss of a bike "The Yellow Dart" and I pulled off because my phone was ringing. Probably one of the fans I thinks to myself. Technically I was right. It was my former college, the old alma matter calling me up. At first this was a somewhat worrying proposition. What are they going to say, I missed a credit somewhere? I have to come back?
Hardly. They wan't me to be the freakin' graduation speaker. At my graduation. Me. So, I have to come up with a graduation speech. Which is a little daunting, but mostly just fun. Timmy did a very nice one, so I feel there is a standard to maintain. For this reason more than any other, I've decided that shouting "STERN RULES," flashing my impressive genitals, and running away will not be sufficient. I've already got some delicious things in mind, but I am, of course, always open to suggestions. So feel free to suggest away. I wouldn't mind the help.
- Scott
P.S. My school has clearly gone mad.
P.P.S. Today's picture of Emma was deemed too hot for the Wonder Blog. We're talking wardrobe malfunction. Yeah. Click for the full size to see what I mean. Be warned, it's pretty intense.
Friday, April 14, 2006
*tap, tap* Are you seriously handing this to me?
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In no way does it suprise me that you were chosen for this. Your outlandish personality seemed to reach everyone's ears in that school, even people you probably do not know exist. Well, I'm sure the janitor only knows of you because you tried to play with the CPR equipment. Glad to hear you will be the speaker, seems fitting for our major and all others of that class.
ReplyDeleteGood luck,
Zac
My God, this is the best thing I've ever heard. Kudos.
ReplyDeleteThat is the most ridiculous/amazing thing I have heard all week. To be the graduation speaker at your own graduation - wow. Well done, Scotty. I fully expect you to drop a train on 'em.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, you have a hanging asterisk in there. Poor form.
ReplyDeleteScott, please tell me you are planning on posting the entire speech here like Tim did last year. Your readers (fans) are begging you to do it!
ReplyDeleteGrade A(my) Woman
I've already done all the congratulating and holy-shitting that I've got in me. However, I will say that I expect big things. Either from your speech, or your genitals.
ReplyDeleteRidiculous... I'm not talking about the speech, from what I saw of your school, that's damn near expected. I'm talking about the bogus Emma link... I know I'm not the only one here who clicked it (I'm looking at you Tim.)
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, and it's not hanging asterisk, but clearly an indication of sound effect. Much like Adam West's ever famous *BAM* *BIFF* *ZONK*
Hey, that janitor thing was hardly my fault. First of all, if there's going to be defibrillators everywhere, they shouldn't make a beep every now and then. And if they do, they should have a fun looking light on top of them. And if they do both of those things, when I open it the fun looking light shouldn't start flashing wildly and the beep shouldn't turn into a siren. I just wanted to put the pads on my chest damnit! But thanks for your support.
ReplyDeleteJakey, I'm going to squeeze as much tounge in cheek innuendo into this speech as possible, trust me it'll be more ridiculous before I'm done.
Timmy, train dropping operations will commence as planned, and I'm not sure what you mean about an asterisk...
Grade A(my) Woman, you'll probably get a video of me doing it. How's that? Or if not, at least one of me reciting the speech at graduation.
Nessa, please see the above reply.
Rob, I'm glad someone finally had the courage to publically admit they clicked on it. Everyone is ashamed to be caught. And it's wonderful. How busted do you feel after clicking that one? Jeez, she's only 16 you perverts!
- Scott