So, I've been having misadventures this past month or two. Misadventures only a college graduate who demands a nice long break can have. As you can imagine, at one point or another I was around the "wrong element." Not to be confused with the fifth element, which is Boron. Or love if you watched the Bruce Willis movie. Anyway, this particular element was out to buy some weed.
If you've been paying attention, you know I'm no straight edge kid. I've been known to hit the bottle from time to time. And also to make moonshine. These things are pretty much my limit however. I don't actually have a problem with people seeking the herbal remedy, what I have a problem with is the indignity that they have to go through to get it.
Apparently nobody can just buy weed. There's always an intricate plan to get the weed. In this case they gave the cash to this girl, who looked like she liberally applied glue to her rather rotund body, and was then pinballed around a Hot Topic until she was thoroughly covered in the uniform of the counterculture... of the mall. I think she even had a vinyl Alkaline Trio album stuck to her ass. So she was really going the extra mile. Anyway they gave their cash to this girl, whose Aunt's, friend's, tanning salon attendant can get it from this guy down by the river and in the mean time you have to wait and hope your 75 bucks for two quarter bags is well spent.
That. Is. Ridiculous. But it helped me find something out about myself. Time for a PSA.
Hey! I knew that chick in high school. She always accused me of stealing her potential boyfriends. As though boyfriends are like energy - existing in potential all over the forking place.
ReplyDeleteUm. And I totally did steal all her potential boyfriends.
Hey Nessa, thanks for the comment. And for pseudo-falling in love with me. That'sa good post. But really, you shouldn't feel bad for stealing her potential boyfriends. She really shouldn't be breeding in the first place.
ReplyDelete- Scott
The Hot Topic kids hate me because I walk in in my Old Navy clothes and buy either a) Care Bear t-shirts or b) stuff for Halloween costumes.
ReplyDeleteOh I don't feel bad. Any girl with an alkaline trio cd stuck to her porcine ass has to know better than to have expections of the other sex.
ReplyDeleteI've befriended your LJ personality. Looks like you don't write in it, but it'll make it possible for you to read my friends only posts - which are usually more entertaining than the other ones.
Biggest load of bullshit I've ever heard.
ReplyDeleteClearly you've had no experience of buying weed.
Way to reply to a post YEARS after the fact, Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteAnd your powers of observation and reading comprehension are mighty: I said I didn't buy the weed right in the post.
Hear that future employers? No weed purchasing for this guy. Ever. Just hard work.