Last Saturday I had two options, stay in town and hang with old friends, or be dragged along with similarly old friends to Alton where drinking would ensue. I was going to hang out here, but to be honest drinking and the opportunity for random occurrences is a temptation that's always held a lot of sway with me. Plus the ladies in question practically begged me to come, so what choice did I have? I felt a little guilty, but I went. As it turned out I'm glad I did.
It gave me the opportunity to get aquianted with my new cell phone (a SLVR) and its features (a CMRA, err camera that is). As a result, the rest of this story will be told in photo essay fashion.
"I can't talk to you; I'm with Scott Gresham. Yeah. The Scott Gresham."
He thought he somehow looked old in this picture. Fear not good Nathan, you don't look old. Just ridiculous.
Two beers in, someone reminded me I was the designated driver. This was my reaction.
I was also randomly in support of a little gambling. Having tossed back a few, everyone believed this to be a grand idea. Marvelous in its simplicity and practicality. Through some conservative betting, a bluff here, a feint there, I managed to wrangle for myself the whopping total of $0.95 more than I walked in with.
He's so mysterious! And now, rich!
Amanda did alright too (20.00). Here's she's cashing out. Beginner's luck.
The Pimp and his Ladies of the Night. And in the middle, our earnings. Mine is in Amanda's cupped hand (change). Having earned this money, it was time to spend it. To the dive bar!
Amanda just tasted something awful. Probably regrets that purchase.
Now him too! It tasted so bad, Nathan became depressed. Recogonizing that the situation was rapidly spinning out of control, I took a page from Dr. Tiki's book and solved his problems with a special drink.
"Special drink? That's just beer!" you say. Nay! Tis the Largest Beer in the LAND! Never doubt the cheering effects of the LBitL!
If that wasn't enough, I reminded him of boobs. And he was happy. And I reminded Amanda that good lighting increases the effectiveness of boobs. This is known as the Shadow Clevage Theorem. And she too was happy once more*.
And all was well with the world.
Amanda did alright too (20.00). Here's she's cashing out. Beginner's luck.
The Pimp and his Ladies of the Night. And in the middle, our earnings. Mine is in Amanda's cupped hand (change). Having earned this money, it was time to spend it. To the dive bar!
Amanda just tasted something awful. Probably regrets that purchase.
Now him too! It tasted so bad, Nathan became depressed. Recogonizing that the situation was rapidly spinning out of control, I took a page from Dr. Tiki's book and solved his problems with a special drink.
"Special drink? That's just beer!" you say. Nay! Tis the Largest Beer in the LAND! Never doubt the cheering effects of the LBitL!
If that wasn't enough, I reminded him of boobs. And he was happy. And I reminded Amanda that good lighting increases the effectiveness of boobs. This is known as the Shadow Clevage Theorem. And she too was happy once more*.
* While I'm not above this type of photography, actually it was a drunken Julie who took this one, and bitch slapped the phone to the floor when I wanted take a group shot with her in it. Sassy minx.
And all was well with the world.
That was my night. I left out the part about getting back into town†† (see comments). Because I wanted to draw more attention to the fact that from now on this kind of pithy, hard hitting reporting about my Saturday nights can be found at my Moblog. Which is the place where the pictures from my camera are automatically uploaded. The last picture had been up five mintues before some random perv complimented the attractiveness of the Ladies. So you know it' s good.
- Scott
- Scott
†† I returned to town to decide that I wanted to drink now that I wasn't the DD any longer. The best parts of that story are that I walked home across a field and had to retrieve my car two days later (from the bar I was at it was closer to my house than my car, and I didn't need to be driving).
ReplyDeleteAlso, a guy I went to high school with but never spoke to because he was a few classes above me and one of the redneck-ish "cool kids," asked me a question:
"What are you drinking...?"
To this I somewhat knowledgeably replied,
"Blue Moon; it's a Belgian White. It's very light, and has a bit of a citrus-y kick to it. The kind of beer that I think would compliment fish very nicely."
For his part he stared at me. When I had finished he blinked slowly, as though to absorb all the words I just fired at him.
"Actually I meant what the hell are you drinking from. It looks like some kind of Goblet."
"Oh. Yeah, they were out of mugs."
- Scott
That was no doubt his backhanded way of accusing you of playing AD&D. He was testing the waters, like a gay man in a honky tonk bar. If you'd confessed that never left home without your Goblet of Intervention, which purified all poison and protected you against your enemies, I've no doubt he would have confessed to being a level three obfuscation mage and the two of you would have had a long, and sordid, love affair.
ReplyDeletePretty funny post...I'm interested in learning more of this "Shadow Cleavage Theorem"
ReplyDelete