Silver Tongue, Poker Face

Damn. I'm exhausted. What a friggin' weekend I've had. It featured what is quite possibly the most exercise I've gotten since I was training to run with bulls. But I've learned some important lessons along the way. Such as, when Rob says he's going to bring over "maybe four or so" girls, that means that they'll be a party featuring 24 girls and 4 or 5 guys along as well. Also a complete furniture re-arrangement. It went over nicely, so nicely infact... well let's just say there were two girls in my bed by the end of the night. The next day I drove home in hopes of getting my brother's nice paintball gun.

On the way down I managed what is quite possibly the best roadway "what's up" to Josh Ryder on the highway ever. It was really quite perfect. Perhaps from the excitement of that perfect 'what up' to Josh I didn't pay too much attention to anything else on the way home. Including tell-tale alerts all good drivers look out for. For instance, the car ahead of me suddenly and for no clear reason slowed down to 55 mph from a healthy 60-63ish. Not only that they got in the submissive "pass me, just don't take my money" far right lane position. Ok I says to myself, I'll pass the slow fool. I saw I had enough room to pass them, got out in the lane next to them, gave them a glance... then saw why they slowed down: State Trooper dead ahead.

Crap. I none too subtly slammed on the breaks and got behind the 'slow' person again. I knew I was screwed, he had already crept forward just a bit. So, I beat him to the punch: I pulled myself over. From where he was camped out he probably had to drive about 12 feet. He didn't even get to turn his lights on, nor did he get to ask for my license and insurance. I handed him both as I muttered "I'm an idiot...". He cracked a partial smile, then spoke for the first time to ask me why I got back in the lane behind the car ahead of me. So I told him, exactly what I told you in the last paragraph. There was a slight pause and he said in a hearteningly genial voice "Well, that's an honest answer". He asked me about prior tickets and I told him I had rolled a stop sign and said "Ok I'll have you out of here in just a minute." After he got back from his crusier he gave me a written warning and told me to watch out for his colleagues down the road and I was on my way. Total stopped time: 3 minutes.

Later that day I went skiing, then the next day it was paintballing and poker (I was in the final four of our tourney of 12). Yesterday I was in and out of sleep all day long from the rigors of being dragged behind a boat, dodging paintballs, and bluffing. And now? Back to the grind.

- Scott