If you recogonize the reference in the title of this post, I'll give you a cookie. A good one. Not that oatmeal rasin shit. We're talking the mall-foodcourt-unhealthy-as-cancer-type cookie. Anyway just a few things to bring you all up to speed on me and my goings-on. I'm actually doing a short post today. What the hell right? To make it even more succinct we're rocking the bulleted points.
- I have not eaten in since 4:09-ish last Sunday. Nada (Spanish for 'nothing'). A few potato chips out of habit, but I quickly stopped myself. Why this supermodel-esq turn? Do I feel unpretty? Am I fasting for religious purposes? No (Spanish for 'no'). I just haven't been hungry in as long as I can remember. So I didn't eat. Strangely (alarmingly) I'm still not hungry. But at least I don't have to worry about twosies as often.
- I bought a trenchcoat to shoot people in. Wait, not like Colombine or anything. Wow, that sentence sounds pretty anti-social. I'm pretty sure I have a file at the FBI on that sentence alone. (Or not. Are we still worried about high school kids shooting people? Or is it only if they're Muslim? The people we fear jumps around alot.) Anyway, it's just to play paintball this weekend in. I figure all the movie badasses have trenchcoats they bust their guns out of, why not me? WHY NOT ME?!
- If you have the time, I recommend Jesus Christ; Vampire Hunter and Six String Samurai for bad/whacked out movie night. The first one just because the title is so appealing, and I've read good things about it. The second one has actual merit as a movie in addition to being so bad it's good.
- I'm pretty sure Dane Cook is going to sue me for stealing his "why not me" bit. But what are you gonna do right? I might even get to meet him. Or his lawyer. I could be two degrees of Dane Cook.
- Scott
Oh, and by "half credit" I mean half the credit for having girls in the apartment. Rob and I have a running "Making the Magic Happen" score board, and he can't stand that I'm currently ahead by 1. So he's bringing all these camp girls by. But they're sleeping in my room, and I'm doing the preparations for them, so I feel half is more than fair.
ReplyDelete- Scott
P.S. I just thought to mention this but I actually am two degrees of Kevin Bacon. Maybe that's worth a post some time. Hmm. I like that idea.
Dude, you broke your stomach. Your body learns to ignore the feelings of hunger after a few hours or more. This is mainly because you start FEEDING OFF YOUR OWN ORGANS!!!
ReplyDeleteScott, eat something before I have to do an eating disorder "intervention"!
Have fun playing paintball
~c
"I wear black trenchcoats and my body is eating itself."
ReplyDeleteHow did I get so goth? Fear not Coors, I made a store clerk laugh with banter and I had a sammich today. So I've counteracted both symptoms. Mostly I'm just pleased I have the will power to potentially develop an eating disorder. Although I'm not sure how much will was involved given that I was never actually tempted by cravings. Still, a nice thought.
- Scott
If quoting Dane Cook profusely and claiming his jokes as your own was a way to meet the man and get to know him, then we'd be best friends by now.
ReplyDeleteYes, and sometimes I enjoy the thought of the fact that I know I could withstand the pain of cutting off my own arm. I wouldn't actually do it. It's just nice to know I could if I wanted to...
ReplyDelete~c
Oh Scotty, we have to talk.
ReplyDeleteYou see, I did a little bit of investigating and found out that this "stumbleupon" chicanery is all your fault. And much though I appreciate your recommendation... dude, you are seriously damaging my attempted stealth. I use a fake name for a reason, man. You can't find my page on google FOR A REASON!
Can you please, PLEASE take your recommendation off that stumble upon thingy please and thank you? I would very much like to, for once, maintain a blog AND a job.