Offending the system, one drone at a time.

I'm not too big on corporate buzz words/terms/ways of thinking/well, corporate anything more or less. Especially the whole interview ritual. Because let's be serious for a second, it really is just a ritual. If the anthropologist aliens are studying it, they probably look at it the way we look at baboons fanning their asses at one another. In a way I'd prefer it to be so simple. Here's the thing, I'm charming, good looking, humble, and completely qualified for any job you can think of. So such trivalities as actually working, or being bothered to interview for a position is a bit below me. Perhaps it wouldn't be, if it were actually what its supposed to be. I.e. Go in, present your abilities, get selected on the basis of how good a job they think you can do.

But noooooo it has to be a whole fashion/etiquette howdy dow. My Carreer Development or Job Management or Some Shit Related To Working (I hate that class and refuse to memorize the exact name) teacher makes it all worse. She has us stand up and critiques us based on what we wear to class. Publically. As a result, I dress as poorly as I possibly can on those days. It pisses her off. I recently turned in an 'informational interview' we were supposed to (and this was assigned directly out of the book) go out and interview a person in a job we want. As this is work, I didn't do it. Instead I took the opportunity to fabricate a person and have them say the things I wanted to. Here's a sample of that work:

ME: What is the typical entry-level position in this field?
Made up person: The typical entry-level position is doing bitch work for someone like me. After a few years you move up to delegating bitch work to others.

ME: What skills do you use the most? Least?
MUP: Most: Technical, troubleshooting, working on the problem at hand. Least: I don’t know, I guess using that fruity corporate speak they teach you in college.

I was understandably eager to see what kind of feedback I would get on such an assignment. I mean, I can't censor my interviewee can I? What kind of fair and impartial reporter would I be if I did that? I expected something about language. I expected some kind of loss of points because I blatantly made up a person and had them say outrageous things (which only seem interesting if you're in the class, or I would have included them). What I didn't expect from her was a letter about her 'feelings'. I must have missed the class where I married this woman.

Continued in comments: