We all, like Cool Runnings, have our moments. Some of us even like to name them. For instance, Rob imparted to me a term that I use quite often describing a moment where everything works perfectly like a movie, that term: cinematic moment. On this week's episode of one of TV's funniest animated programs featuring a 10 year old black child as the main character, The Boondocks, the theme was about nigga moments. A nigga moment is when for no apparent reason, otherwise charming and bright individuals will suddenly abandon all reason and through rage get themselves into a situation they can't get out of, like jail. (I know what you're thinking but it's not racist if I'm just giving a synopsis!)
Anyway, to this list of moments I add my own. I dub it the Julia Roberts Pretty Woman moment. It happened to me when I was at the mall. Just hanging out, minding my own business. I saw the very same Calvin Klein suit I purchased last week (after much conflict, discomfort, and amid hilarious bits (I was on fire)). Anyway I guess I wasn't really dressed to impress in my 80's Member's only jacket, my Vans, and my favorite pair of jeans, but I looked damn sexy. Despite this as I was compairing dress shirts to the suit the snooty salesman sauntered over to me and motioned for me to take off my headphones. He proceeded to look down his nose so intently I thought he was going to aim a sneeze at me before saying "I bet you wish you could buy that. Don't you? Pesant*?"
What the hell? Do I look like I just rode a borrowed mule from my thatched roof cottage or something? Those headphones went to an iPod! A 40-gig too, not some pissy 2-gig hand-me-down! I shot back "Actually, I already have this one, mostly for lounging around in, maybe going to the bars." He then sprang into Mr. Helpful Ass Kisser. It was darling. I ended up with four new shirts and he ended up with no comission** because I let him help me then bought them later. Ha!
- Scott
* True, except for the pesant bit. Too tempting to leave out.
** Do Famous Bar Employees*** get comission?
*** Also, why was this guy sweating me? He works at Famous Frickin' Bar who is he to judge?
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Add another moment to the list
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I love that after you tell a story, I have absolutely no idea what parts, or even what percent, of it were true. It's an allure that is hard to match, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThat's the magic of Scott baby. But this one is legit. You can ask... Jesus. He was there.
ReplyDelete- Scott
this should be a game. We dress is some of our regular, yet semi ratty clothes, withdrawn a grand from savings, and just walk around those stores. when they get uppity, simply flash the wad.
ReplyDeleteBecause we all have a grand in savings just waiting to be flashed.
ReplyDeleteHey, I made a post for you Scott.
ReplyDeleteGo read, well, actually more look... my mini-me kicks butt.
~c
If it was me, I would have to buy the shirts, no matter the price. Spite is a good motivation, even if I would go back and return them when he wasn't working.
ReplyDeleteI just about had a "nigga moment" when I saw your post. It's amazing how my eyes just found the word before I even began to read, then I said to myself, "Scott's not crazy, he knows I'll exact revenge if he actually just uses the word." After reading, I was sufficiently amused. You may live.
ReplyDelete~Eddi's Alter Ego
After I've been annoyed or followed in a store (trust me it happens) I like to go in to the store, grab everything, make them "start a room" for me like I'm in NM or Saks, and then buy one cheap thing with my AMEX Gold card or a crisp $100 bill.
ReplyDelete...and yes, I think some Famous Barr departments do work on commission. Men's and shoes and maybe one other.
~Eddi
First of all, I am crazy. Secondly, I'm not a racist. Thirdly, I thought it was only bad if it was the -er ending. I mean, John Q. Whitey shouldn't be using it at all. But if he did the -a ending would be the less offensive wouldn't it? Somehow Lori Beth Denberg never did this segment for Vital Information for Your Everyday Life.
ReplyDelete- Scott
P.S. I love The Boondocks, how could I be racist? Also, you should totally watch that show if you don't, it's hilarious. Pretty much the show I'm looking forward to most each week. And that's trumping The Office and Gilmore Girls.
future reference -a is not less offensive. you just sound like you are trying to be ghetto and offensive.
ReplyDeleteThe actual boondocks cartoon is on my yahoo page every day. love that strip, but w/out cable, adult swim is kinda out of my range.
Nothing trumps Gilmore. You made Rory cry, you insensitive bastard.
ReplyDeleteA.) It was hyperbole my dear, of course nothing trumps the Gilmore Girls, but you forget my masculine bravado. It does get precednece over the feelings of a fictious girl, and probably a real girl for that matter.
ReplyDeleteB.) I could no more make Rory cry than I could cut off my own arm. For she and I are in blissful love! Seriously. We bought furniture together... so yeah. It's getting pretty serious.
C.) In actual news, I did fall an order of magnitude deeper in love with her when she made a cylon reference a couple of weeks back. Bonus nerd love!
- Scott
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