Thursday, November 10, 2005

Word.

I have a confession to make: I can be a bit of a wordsmith. It will really irk me when someone repeatedly types the wrong word. For example: then, meaning than. I was just reading one of my frequented blogs, Joe Likes Crappy Movies, and he (who owns a website) constantly uses the word "then." So what the people in the hallway just heard was: "DAMN IT. IT'S THAN! THEN IS A TIME, THAN IS COMPARATIVE. If I hear that one more time... gaaah, FUCKING PUBLIC SCHOOLS!" Then they got very quiet, presumably because they were afraid they might use poor grammar.

But my word standards don't just apply to others, but to myself. Stringently. For instance, I really wish I loved Cola because it sounds way cooler to order a Coke, than to say "I'll have a rootbiier" (spelled the way it sounds if said a nerdy manner). Not only that, but one of my favorite ice cream fixin's is sprinkles. There needs to be a more masculine form of this word. I think that might just be the reason I thought that going to get ice cream in the middle of the day for no reason was so... alternatively...oriented? I'm trying not to say "gay" here, but that's about the most succinct way of putting it. And seriously, ssssprinkles? The word itself begs to be said with a lisp.

So for the above mentioned reasons, from this day henceforth, I shall call sprinkles, manly-flakes. And rootbeer? Fake brew. And when someone says "then" meaning "than"? Punch them in the face. Then explain that it's because they're being more annoying than I could stand. I don't think it's too much to ask. While you're at it, any other word peeves feel free to bring up.

- Scott

10 comments:

  1. When people on the East Coast want sprinkles, they say they want "jimmies." Maybe you should use that instead. It sounds much more manly to say you want Jimmy on your ice cream. Yup. Not gay at all.

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  2. By the way, way to turn off the password for comments. The spam has returned, I see.

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  3. Why Tim? Whatever do you mean?

    - Scott

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  4. "Supposebly" bugs me. And "liberry." And pretty much everyone with a Boston accent.

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  5. ugh, "congradulations."

    or the eternal "your," "you're" mixups.

    and, sadly, "man flakes" just don't sound that appetizing.

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  6. there are just certain words I hate to spell... like "unnecessarily." I hate that word. And "thorough," no matter the fact I know how to spell that last one, it always looks wrong to me.

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  7. A girl who used to work with me here said "supposively" all the time, and then go around bragging about how much better she was than the rest of us because she had a psychology degree. She also spelled envelope without the "e" at the end. I can't stand it when people pronounce mostaccioli as "musk-a-choli." That sounds like a strange dish that features possum...and in these parts, it's all too terribly possible. My biggest peeve, though, is people who can't distinguish between "to," "too," and "two."

    I thought it was weird the first time I heard my mother-in-law call ice cream sprinkles "jimmies." I thought she was kidding. She said it was a Boston thing. Those wacky Bostonians.

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  8. Anonymous6:19 AM

    Of all your "Scottisms" my favorite would have to be databi. Maybe throw in bobby mo too.


    Zac

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  9. Anonymous9:28 AM

    If I may...

    When you write "then". at the end of your sentence, the period needs to go inside the quotation marks. Just saying.

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  10. I hate to say it, 2 Hotty (truth be told, I'm reveling in it), you have quite a few grammatical errors in your posts. And I should know as I'm far along into them. Your main problem: using it's instead of its. A contraction vs. indication of a possessive. It's no big deal, except that I'm also a glorified anal word-smither, and well, I die under my own burden too. Bottoms up!

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