I'm the John McEnroe of Professional Biking.

The weather here in the Little Easy has been unreasonably nice today. I don't know how it's been where you kids are, but here lately it's been nice enough for me to wear shorts. Besides giving me occasion to encite lust in members of the opposite sex with my skimpy short-shorts, the weather has also brought outside activities squarely back into my life. Like today, I decided to take a nice little bike ride. Go back and re-read that sentence and look at how simple the thought is. It shouldn't be hard, or dangerous should it? No, I wouldn't think so either.

But the thing about having a plan is that it gives the arrogant ghost of Murphy and his bastard laws a chance to spite you. So I go biking. I notice my tires are low. No matter I think, I'll stop off at the petrol station and fill up the free air. (You see in my mind, I'm British). But I had to cross Wabash to do that. So I was waiting at the light pedaling backwards, but it doesn't do anything on a 10 speed except make you look like a pretty righteously awesome biker dude... Usually, today it decided to make my chain all kinds of come off the gears. I had my iPod in my pocket so I really didn't want to get my hands dirty, because I'd eventually have to touch it. But being the man I am, I fixed it right there on the side of the road. Or thought I did.

The Don't Walk, turned into Walk and it was time for me to cross the street. So I start pedaling across the crosswalk and get about halfway across when my chain seizes up and brings me to a screeching, cursing stop. I nearly flipped over the handlebars. I was pissed. This bike just betrayed me, and inanimate object or not, I don't suffer betrayal. Not to mention the fact that there were no less than 6-10 cars full of people who had a great view of the event. But if they thought that was a show, they were dead wrong. That was the preveiw. In my rage I forgot people were watching and picked the bike up over my head, stomped across the road and threw it hard into the ground on the other side. I then gave it the finger and kicked it for good measure. The look on their faces was hilarious. I think they didn't know whether to laugh (I would have), or be terrified (whoa I incited fear? Awesome.). It took me a good 20 minutes to fix the chain then fix the damage I'd done to the thing myself but once I got it, it was a pretty good bike ride. All in all, I'd call it a success. Hope everyone else out there is having as good a time as I did.

Tommorow's post (well I really go every two days more or less so probably Wednesday's post): my own TV show, that's right kiddies, it's in the works.

- Scott