Boldly spliting infinitives that no man has split before.

Hello again boys and girls. In case you couldn't tell by the title of this post, I've been reading Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I just banged out the first book in the seires yesterday. I actually read the whole thing in one day. Well, all but 14 pages. It was 2:00 at that point and despite a valiant effort I was no longer able to comprehend the words on the page. So I guess technically it was today that I finished it, but it was well within the 24 hour grace period that I consider a day.

In other news, my life imitates art more and more each day. I've always thought of myself as sort of a protagonist of the sitcom that is my life. Or perhaps something similar to the Truman Show. For awhile I actually had to wonder and look around for cameras when events were just too convenient to explain. But, not every situation can be explained within the confines of either the Truman Show or sitcommery. So sometimes I look to movies, especially to compartmentalize one portion of my life. Such as my life in Springfield. I often feel my time here is a bit of an accidental exile. Not unlike the plight of Tom Hanks in the movie 'Castaway'. Sure comming here seemed like a good idea at first...but so did getting on the plane. '

However, for all these parallels, Tom always had one thing on me. No, not that stupid package. What the hell was in it anyway? And wasn't the whole movie kind of an advertisement for NOT working at FedEx? Anyway, the one thing he had that I didn't? Willson. Without ever realizing it, I kind of constructed one with things that had been given to me, until... Well it's best if you just have a look.

As you can see he's giving me the 'pouty' look.

It started with just the tissue dispenser (he normally sneezes Kleenex, but he's currently out, hence he seems to have no nostrils), but I added some Cop Glasses, and he looked pretty badass. After Halloween he got my asian people wig and began to look a bit like Elvis. Then my parents got back from the Caribbean and gave me this Rasta Hat/Dreads and I didn't know where to store it. That's when I was walking by Bob (his full name is Bob Doobie, mostly because it makes me laugh) and decided it was a good fit. So now I imagine that he spends most of the day stoned out of his mind, after I say hi to him at breakfast.

In a related story I have obscene amounts of free time.

- Scott