Dad is going to disown me

Have you ever signed up for something and completely forgot about it? Like a mailing list, or a CD club, or the National Guard? And then did you ever not remember it for six years? Because the other six years ago, I did. I think a little exposition is in order.

*Exposition Fade Out Music*
*Nostalgic/Irreverant Voice Over*
I have a bit of a confession to make. I used to play EverQuest. I have a bigger confession to make. I once went to an EverQuest Convention. God help me, I once went to an EQ convention. I think it was there that I had this epiphany: "If I keep playing this, I am never going get laid, or even acknowledged by any female... ever." Seriously, looking around the room it was like these guys had been virgins for so long they completely forgot there was another sex. It's going to be hard to show you this but I want you to know what I mean:

Image stolen from a security camera that was present at the convention. You might ask me how I got this? Just call me Mr. Universe, all signals go somewhere and I go everywhere. (Or Steve was at home hitting "Print Screen.) In case there's some confusion, I'm the scared looking plaid lad in the center. Behind the guy I'm assuming dressed up as Grimace.

Wow, I looked like a little kid back then. I'm so manly now it's hard to remember I wasn't born like this. Which would have been disgusting. Anyway, you can see the type of crowd I was dealing with. I'm painfully dissapointed that there aren't any of the cosplayers in view. Especially the guy with the tinfoil "armor". Here's a quote from one of the nerds present at the convention when hotel staff shooed EverQuesters out of sight: "They kicked us out the lobby for camping the spawn." (Nerdy laughter.) Between that, people greeting each other by saying "Hail" and the "real life quest" (AKA scavenger hunt) I realized that I needed to stop playing. Immeadiately.

Not terribly long after that I stopped playing. It really was for the best. I moved on, got sexier and sexier but still remained just as awesome and humble as I started. Well... probably more awesome. I played other games of course, did more things in what is known as 'real life', and went to college. But all the while there was this nagging feeling that I had some unfinished business. Well the other day I figured it out... I never actually canceled my subscription. See what reading your billing statement can get you? So six years later, I'm completely free of the beast. And I have to say, it feels good.


- Scott

P.S. This comment section is likely to turn into a complete nerd fest. Just so you know.