Say whaaat?

Ok, I could do one of my monsterously detailed posts of what my weekend was like and what I did and the consistency of my stool, but instead I'm going to post some quotes from it. Some with setup, some not. How's that sound? (What a stupid question, I can't hear you. And if I could, I wouldn't care!)

• Emily H: "I'm like a camel; I drink alot." (Pause) "And I spit alot!"
• (Pause)
• Scott: "And you let men ride your humps."
  

• In reference to a friend of Barrett's:
  
• Scott: "He's the guy with really big... eyes." (Funnier aloud)

• In reference to Facebook chain letters:
• "Oooh, I've been hit by the beautiful truck, and the alcoholic truck, and the sex truck. WELL YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY THE HOMO TRUCK! QUIT SENDING ME CHAIN LETTERS"

• A large group of black football players is comming toward us down a dark sidestreet.
  
• Barrett (in undertones to Emily): Keep your head down, don't make eye contact.
  
• (Emily does so.)
• Barrett (two seconds later): Yo yo yo, what's up? High five! Alright. *Runs through the middle of them laughing madly getting high fives while they look bemused at his drunken antics*

• In a store trying on hats. Wearing a small fedora:
• Scott: "I look like a Jewish man getting on the train... to Auschwitz."
  
• Scott: (in a beanie) "Hey ese! Let's lower our cars and talk about how we're different from other demo-graphics. I'm Carlos Mencia!"
• Scott: (silly hat) "Don't that look cunning?"

• Scott to Maggie: Hey Kati... damn it. I mean Maggie. It's just that you look like...
• Maggie: Fuck you.
  
• Scott (the rest of the night, Irish accent on her name): Margaret Mary McGuinness... more like McGODDESS! Maggie is the best name ever! I'm going to name my kids Maggie. All of them!"
  
• At one point I actually took contact cement I found and wrote "MAGS" on my arm. Then super glued a bible onto it. I do not recall how I intended to make up for calling her Katie in this manner. I do remember that it was, in fact, hilarious.
  

I'll cap this post with a picture of three big, strapping men. Men who drink 40's. Men who like women, and boobs and beer! Men who, because the women refused to drink them succumbed to the temptation of delicious, but candy-ass, girl drinks.

Yarr, Captain Morgan be hangin' his head right about now.

Tomorrow's topic: being less concise, possibly in relation to copyright laws.

- Scott