They're comming for me. I just finished UFO's, JFK, and Elvis by Richard Belzer and I am now officially a conspiracy detecting nut. His were largely based around the JFK assassination (how fun is to write "ass" twice in a word and be able to use it in polite company), and he touched on some UFOlogist stuff as well. Mine are more mundane, but still just as explosive as proving we didn't land on the moon. For instance: When will DVD makers realize that "Chapter Selection" is not a special feature? Seriously, do books advertise about having a table of contents? Is this a big selling point? "Well, I'd really like to buy Titanic but there's no option of going directly from the boobs to seeing DiCaprio drowning, so I'll have to pass." I think it's part of the ongoing conspiracy to advertise the most unoriginal, mundane things of all time.
Like the new Bridgestone Tire commercial, their slogan is "the wheel goes round and round". Wow. Let me just take a minute to marvel at the thought that must have gone into that. What could we have this wheel do they thought. Maybe it could roll? No, that doesn't sound right. I know, let's have it mimic the ones on the bus and go round and round. Is there a copyright? No? Great. Sell it. I also like that they now feature a rapper spitin' on the topic of the wheel and it's rotation. Fantastic. I'm just proud they decided to skimp on the malt liquor with purchase of three tires deal.
The last one is one I've thought about for a while. Why can't things other than oil ever fall into the ocean? (Besides that alleged ginormous condom reef floating in the south Pacific.) I mean really, you never hear about a boatload of The Rock posters falling into the sea. Which is really unfair to the underwater creatures, and a part of a side conspiarcy to deprive aquatic beings of the most electrifying man in Sports entertainment. On that note I leave you to go into the world and point out the conspiarcies put out perpetrated daily by "The Man".
Oh and also check out me as a black guy, that's cool too.
Finally, I'm cool! And thus Lando Scotrissian is born.
I should mention, that I didn't create that myself. If you haven't already seen Rob's site (which I reccomend) check out this place for the face morpher. I also make a stately Asian person, and a ridiculous looking Indian dude.
ReplyDeleteThere, claims of blatant racism averted. Thank you.
- Scott
You forgot to mention how they showed a spinning CD in the tire commercial that turned into a spinning tire. You know some stuffy white guys were all in a room saying, "Yeah, see that'll show how it's like music." I'd like to give McDonalds props for reaching out as well with their "Fruit Buzz" Commercial. I just want to know how many times the "Urban Market" was uttered in that brainstorming session. Its so obviously unnatural, it pains me.
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