The post most likely to be sued for coypright infringement.

I don't know about you kids, but I am excited to the point of nerd-ery over the new (and last) Star Wars movie. Don't get me wrong, the last two prequels sucked goat ass, but they've actually tricked me into being interested in this one. Maybe it's their playing "Duel of the Fates" over the trailers, but something about them definately says "Trust me, we can't suck too bad. Yoda fights again!". The point is, I'm optimistic.

Even being optimistic, I know this is probably going to be the last legitimate Star Wars movie I see in my lifetime. Sure there's talk of a new cartoon series on Cartoon Network and Lucas is shopping around his idea for a live action television series as well, but I don't anticipate anything movie-worthy. But then I got to thinking... does it have to be legitimate? Like most NBA player's kids, there are lots of illegitimate movies that are really just as good as anything supposedly "legit". Lots of random bastardizations that strike some campy note with the public and do well. I was thinking about these and how Luke is a whiny little bitch in the first movie and came up with a parody film I'd love to get made. Here it is: Napoleon Skywalker. Combining the two movies works better than you'd think, take a look:

Memorable Napoleon Skywalker Quotes:

Napoleon Skywalker: Can I go to the Tashi Station? But I need power converters real bad!

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Rex Kwandobi: At Force Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need the Force watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Jar Jar over here? Take a look at the mysterious robes I'm wearing, people. You think anybody wants a Jedi Mind Trick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.

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Napoleon Skywalker:That's a sweet Imerial Speeder.
Pedrofett (yeah I know it doesn't work, screw you): Thanks, it's a Sledgehammer.
Napoleon Skywalker: Dang you got shocks... lucky. You ever take it on any sweet forest chases?

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Darth Vandy (Based off Randy the Tots guy: Napoleon, give me your tots.
Napoleon Skywaker:No, I'll never turn over my tots to the dark side.
Darth Vandy:You want to give me your tots. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
Napoleon Skywalker:NOOOOOO!

And that's all I have for that ridiculous farce. I hope it works as well in print as it does when I act it out. Out loud in character it's pretty good stuff. So read it in the character's voices if you can. That's all for now, tomorrow I'll recap the events of today including beating Rob and Ro at all the games in my GameCube library. Also I have some exciting news on the horizon. Night kids.

- Scott