Alright, I skipped a day. Sue me. No, actually praise my ability to keep you in suspense. I like that one a lot better. Anyway let me pick up where I left off at the cyber cafe: Ok, so I leave after making my post. Being the fine young bacholers that we are, we decided that we wanted to find a liquor store. So we walked all over Vancouver only to discover that all the liquor stores closed an hour ago. Damn. So we decided to walk back to our hotel via the water front. We jogged over a street because we thought that there might be one last liqour store over there, but there wasn't. So we set out for the water.
As we mosey down a street we come upon what looks like some trailers and various production equipment. "It looks like somebody's shooting a movie" Nathan said, almost jokingly. Then we got closer and came upon some huge cranes holding aloft giant sprinklers. Quickly we put together that they were shooting a scene in the rain. A scene, yes... but of what? I made time with a female security guard and got some info out of her. They were shooting a movie. And the kicker you ask? This isn't just any movie, it's a movie with Harrison Ford. No friggin' way. And the spot we had been gawking from? Yeah that was in the shot. By that time we were jockey-ing for a better position. The spot we eventually ended up in was just off camera, but still close enough to get fake rained on.
All of a sudden, the fake rain fired up, the cameras started rolling, and who should walk within 10 feet of us but Han Solo himself. There were a few other fans who were lucky enough to stumble upon this rediculously surreal scene. After the scene, which consisted of him saying a few words to a co-star and walking briskly across the street and getting in an SUV that we were standing near, he walked back to the place he started from. As he did, a female fan screamed "WE LOVE YOU HARRISON". But Indy didn't even turn his head. This cat is too cool for school. Harrison dissapeared for awhile and they made the "background" (extras) practice their thing. We tried to blend in with the extras and get in the shot, but security shut us down as we had no umbrellas and were among the people inexplicably not wearing black. Because really everyone in the city likes to wear black with their umbrella when it's raining. That way we help out the one guy wearing brighter colors and not using an umbrella stand out more. And they say there's no sense of community these days.
I quickly decided that if I couldn't be in a movie I could sure as hell make fun of the people that were. And it was this that I sat out to do. I was standing in a group of extras listing to them talk about their other jobs and how this was so good for their career. They were just so pretentious, I wanted to make it clear to them: YOU'RE AN EXTRA. YOU'RE A SMALL BLACK BLUR IN THE BACKGROUND. NO ONE WILL RECOGONIZE YOU. But I found that it would be best to accomplish this in a round about manner. Namely, patronizing them. To the extras as they walked by: "Good energy" and "You sold it to me" or "It told a story to my very soul" and finally, the most offensive "...And the Academy Award for self-important overacting extra goes to..." I had my own little audience of pedestrian onlookers and I was killing. Meanwhile the extra's were getting pretty annoyed, which made it even better. This went on for quite awhile. I also speculated that being the guy who raises and lowers the fake rain machines for the movie is pretty much the pinnacle of being a crane operator. That's the job you get into the business hoping for. We saw Harrison Ford's body double too, who they were basically using as the extra Harrison Ford, the one they would use if they didn't have the nice Harrison Ford hanging around back stage. At which point I shouted "I don't believe it, it's really him, it's Sparrison Ford!" Body double guy was not amused. But I like to think I entertained my audience almost as well as the movie I was making fun of.
I should drop some knowledge about that movie at this point I think. The movie's new name is Firewall. Changed from "The Wrong Element". A change for the better I think. It also stars Paul Bettany. Who was hanging out about 10 feet away near another SUV. We also saw some grips who work on Smallville (as evidenced by their Smallville hats and coats) and a super fine PA who worked on the Fantastic Four movie. After we had bummed around the set for a good two hours and had begun to incur the ire of the production crew at large (or I had...) we decided it was time to head back to our hotel. On the way two exciting things happened.
- I was running to jump over a railing in a park we cut through, and very nearly ran over a hobo sleeping under a tarp I didn't see. I only stopped because I heard them saying "Hey look out for that guy"
- After the hobo incident, we had walked not half a block when Barrett spotted what looked like a black and white cat. I was for some reason doing a flying hump at the time down the sidewalk and landed next to said cat. However, this was no cat. It was a skunk. In the middle of Vancouver. And I had just pissed it off. It turned around and assumed the spraying position, and we ran as we had never run before. Nathan, Barrett and I split up without ever discussing it and ran like men on fire. It was the funniest and most terrifying end to a wild night we could imagine.
- Scott
I had a hobo incident once, although much different than yours. After an overnight train into Auschwitz from Prague, I didn't get much (any) sleep. And we arrived a few hours before the "camp" opened. So I put on my hat, pulled up my hood and, unshaven, curled up on a soft patch of grass. Josh later told me that while I was passed out, a tour group of high school kids went by and several took pictures of me thinking I was a geniune hobo.
ReplyDeleteAh, finally comment-age. At least I know the word's getting out, I seriously tapped my monitor and asked "Is this thing on?" a few minutes ago. I was thinking I scared people away with my week of uber posts. But even if it's long, I RAN INTO HARRISON FORD PEOPLE. That warrants a long post. Oh well, it's back to the regular goodness this week. So look forward to that.
ReplyDeleteNow onto the comment itself: I have a few better hobo stories. For instance, one time in Spain I was brushing a hobo off who I a.) had already helped the day before and b.) decided was just an American jerk. But for some reason my explanation that I had already given him money for coffee and that Pat Cavins was both the richest man on the tour and the King of North America offended him. At which point he hauled off and kicked me. I turned around but he had already took off. I stood there a minute and boggled at what had happened: a hobo just kicked me and ran away. It was insane.
Anyway, one last trip-recapping photo post ala Haley Schell tomorrow. Look forward to it.
- Scott
Whoa, we posted the same hobo story at the same time. And I like that the different details we each remembered, but in the end the effect was the same: the complete shock of being kicked by a hobo. Great minds my friend...
ReplyDelete