What the hell kind of scam is this?

I swear, ice cream trucks drivers have NO idea how to do their jobs anymore. Just this weekend one of them blazed by my house with his crappy MIDI music blaring. And it wasn't even 'Turkey in a Straw' what sacrelig! Just how in the blue hell is a fat 8 year old (the Ice Cream Truck prime demographic) supposed to catch that. I wanted some and had to chase him down the street on my moped (which was pretty hilarious actually). But without the blazing speed provided by Betsy's 72cc's of power, there's no way I could have possibly caught him. My guess is that this some evil plot to get the kids to exercise. Come to think of it, I do recall some black helicopters in the area that day. Clearly the alien overlords want us to be lean.

I ran into the same situation the other day in Springfield. Living in the center of many, many apartment complexes that echo shrill noises like the music the Truck plays really didn't help me at all. I must have ran though 5 parking lots before I tracked the guy down. Annoyance aside, I don't think I've ever felt more like a feral beast chasing down his prey. I got the sense I carried the feeling too far when the driver looked on agast as I ripped the juglar out of my Strawberry Sundae Crunch, but hey I go with the flow.

One last thing before I go, has anyone else seen the show "Growing Up Gotti"? And if so, can you please explain to me who in the hell these people are and why I should give two shits about them? Because really, how rare is it to give one shit about something, let alone the two GUG requires. Are they seriously the offspring of John Gotti, the crime boss? And if so, why has there not been a hit on his embarrassingly gay son? Because really, that's your first episode right there.

- Scott