Apparently I'm the most cryptic person, ever.

Ok, so I've been alluding to some mysterious Seattle trip for a while now. I thought I said something about what it was/why I'm going, but apparently not. Then I found a note in my BlogPoints that reminded me how this happened: "Don't drive Seattle Trip into ground". Reading that gramatic turd, I remembered that I was all excited about the trip a month ago (well, I still am, and even more so now, but that's I'll get into that a couple of sentences from now), and having a month until I was going to go, I didn't want to make every single post about it. So I didn't. But recently I have had like 10 people talk to me and ask me just what the hell this trip is going to be, so I'm giving you the low down. Listen up, I'm only going to type this once.

Prologue:

The time: one year ago. The place... uhh... probably this exact apartment, I don't really remember. The thing: me promising Nathan Harry I would come visit him at school "next" year. Which would be well and good except that he chose that moment to spring on me "Well you can but I'll be in Seattle." Damn, nice trap Nathan. I'm tempted to think you're a woman, what with the leading a man into unintentional commitment. Kidding of course, I was even more gung ho to go after hearing that. So, days and weeks passed by. I was biding my time and athe hour that everything would align and I would have some sign that Nathan was ready to have visitors come to see him. Did it ever come? Maybe, but I decided that it was high time to head out there about a month ago and ordered tickets.

Once the tickets were ordered, I asked my parents if I could go to Seattle. It's nice to let them feel like they're in on the decision making process, especially considering the fact that they're paying for it. It's diplomatic touches like that one that keep me out of trouble. Fortunately they consented and disaster was averted. Then thinking about it, I saw no reason I should embark on this EPIC journey by myself. So I called my trusty left-handed right-hand man; Mr. Barry. (Known as Barrett Schmidt to the rest of the world, it's just me and one black guy at Hoods that call him that. But I still friggin' love it). Even though it was some days later I managed to book him on all the same flights as me, thanks to some mad skillz. And Orbitz being really easy to cobble together flights. I think it would be easier to explain the rest of the trip day by day. Here goes:

Tuesday:

This day shall henceforth be called TrainTuesday. Because that's what it is. The cheapest flights, best hotdogs, and worst baseball team all come out of Chicago. So I decided we would fly out from there and save some money. The issue was getting there. Fortunately if you book in advance (like 2-3 weeks in advance) Amtrak is rediculously cheap (from here to Chicago round trip is 32 dollars.) So that's what I did. The only problem with this plan is that the train dumps us out in Union Station at 8:45 PM, and our flight leaves from O'Hare... at 6AM the next day. I don't have much of a plan for this, but all accounts of what we do with this time will involve shenanigans. I promise you that.

Wednesday:

We fly to Detroit. That's right, Detroit. Why go to Detroit on the way to Seattle? Well, part of me wanted to be in every continental US time zone in one day, but mostly because North West is rediculous. Really. Really. Rediculous. But it's cheaper, and I get to hang out in the Detroit airport. Win win. After a breif layover we hop a flight to Seattle. I have window seats all the way in both directions. I just can't tell you how much I enjoy booking my own flights. I'll also be enjoying my Kosher meals on the flight there and my Vegan Entree's on the way back. It's just too sweet to f*ck with the airlines. Anyway, that day we land. That's all I know about it.

Thursday:

Watch Joey? I don't have anything planned for this day, which means something fun will likely crop up. Or I'll have to go about russ'lin' it up.

Friday:

Regret that I'll have to miss the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Premier, because I'm going to Canada. Then remember I'm leaving the country and get giddy with the possibilities for an international incident. Plus it's Canada. How rife with fertile comic soil can a country get? Not much more. I guess I could be in North Korea, but that would have little more than half the charm and none of the flannel. Not to mention the legal drinking age is 18. And here's the kicker: Nathan's Aunt got us a hotel in Vancouver, so we're staying there two days. Hopefully I'll be able to track down some celebrities from shows like Smallville, Battlestar Galactica, and/or Stargate SG-1/Atlantis. They shoot other stuff there too, but that's all that currently comes to mind.

Saturday:

Mostly Canada.

Sunday:

Get back to the States. Mourn the lack of milk sold in bags. Make other comparisons from Five Iron Frenzy songs. Go to church. And most likely see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Monday:

No real clue. I'm sure we'll hang out with Nathan. Rehash shenanigans of old. See things and people. Regret that we have to part later on that night. Make future plans, discuss how we never make "past plans", point out that sometimes Scott's plans go so horribly wrong they actually work. Then get a ride to the airport and have our fond farewells.

Tuesday:

Figure out how we're getting from O'Hare to the train station again. Then doing it. And that's the trip. One more thing though.

Today:

Wonder about the wisdom of giving stalkers, the government and theives my exact itinerary. Seriously, I'm like a C list celebrity. This can't be safe at all. Damn interweb! Oh well, enjoy bloggites, theives, and G-men. I'm out.


- Scott