Oops.

I often think that I would be pretty good at a life in crime. I'm suave, I'm quick witted, and most of all I can lie as convincingly as I tell the truth. I often don't even know if I believe what I'm saying, let alone whether or not there's truth to it. But for all these good characteristics, I might have one fatal flaw...I tend to gloss over the details sometimes.

For instance, I remember in my childhood me and my close friend Stephen decided to set a trap (don't ask me why) for his little brother Jon. Or maybe Tim, the point is we wanted to set a trap for them. Surprisingly, our trap, which consisted of two pieces of cardboard over a gaping hole in the floor of the attic, was quickly forgotten. I'm not really sure why we thought the attic was such a high traffic area for Tim and Jon. In hindsight not the best plan. Weeks and months passed and I was at their house one day when Steve and I hear the sound of wood breaking and a scream. As we ran toward the bathroom we saw a horrifying sight: a disembodied leg that had crashed through the ceiling. There were bits of wood and plaster everywhere and the leg was swinging wildly around. So naturally, I ran away. A pretty fool proof plan I thought. There's nothing linking me to this, I should just get the hell out of here. But there was one detail I forgot, the interrogation techniques of Stevo's family. So eventually, I was implicated. Although I don't think I ever got into any kind of trouble because of it.

Sadly later in life, the trend tends to pop up now and again. Last semester I was in macroeconomics, when I finished the semester I wrote obscenities in my book and sold it for the hansome sum of $23 dollars. Which was a bit of a shame because the damn thing cost me $80. They plan to sell them to another school for a hefty mark up I'm sure. Here's the kicker though: today was the first day of microeconomics and the first words out of the teachers mouth "Good news, we're using the same book from last semester" Shit.

But to cheer myself up I've gone out and found a guy whose plight makes my minor blunders look even better.

Read all about it.

The best part of the story is that he was a runner posing as a woman, but when they caught him he tried to run away and got caught! That's even more embarrassing than getting caught playing hide the sausage in your track pants. To think he's the best "female" runner in the country, nice work Zimbabwe. And who is this guy who can go either way on the gender portion of government forms? I'm sure it started with Manties...then just snowballed from there. I also like that Witchdoctor's spells work like a tank of gas, if you don't spend enough money they won't quite get you there. Apparently he wanted the boobs, AND vagina package. He got stuck with some Avril Lavigne A-cups and a mangina. The moral here is to pay your witchdoctor whatever the agreed upon fee was, or go to a real doctor. Your call.

- Scott