I just got back from seeing Sideways. I thought it was PFG. Pretty Freaking Good. What might possibly be burned into my mind forever however, is the image of Paul Giamatti stealing a wallet out of the bedroom of a chubby couple having sex. The naked man chasing him as he ran away terrified with wallet in hand had me laughing hard enough that I couldn't breathe. Which is quite a thing if you've ever paid attention to how often I actually laugh, especially like that. I can only speculate that Paul Giamatti busting in on me having sex would similar effect on me. (You're welcome for the mental picture. The first one's free then I jack up the price; so savor the flavor, punk.)
But before the movie there are the inevitable previews and commercials. I have to say, commercials before movies are some of the most rediculous things I've ever seen in my life. Apparently the new thing is to try to hire film school students to make them so you get an ad for delicous, refreshing Coca-Cola (WARNING, BLOG PRODUCT PLACEMENT) that looks like something the Mad Hatter would watch then turn to his teapot-mouse friend and incredulously ask "What the f*ck was that?"
Worse than that is when you get movies being previewed that don't even make sense for what movie it preceeds. I have to ask what the crap demographic are they trying to hit that would go and see Sideways, then immeadiately say "I really need to find out what the deal with this Heffalump in the 100-Acre Woods is, screw live action." The big preview that I think is really annoying (and too late considering no one heard about it until it hit theaters anyway) is the one for "Because of Winn-Dixie". First of all, don't make a movie that sounds like it's about how a college athlete smuggled some clean piss to his drug screening. Secondly, they tag the movie at the end "Only in theaters". As if there was a toss-up between straight to video and 'aw, hell let's put it in theaters.' Who does it surprise that the preview they just saw, IN A THEATER, is for a movie that is going to be IN THEATERS.
Finally, from now on supposedly liberal Hollywood, instead of saying "with Cedric the Entertainer" to get black people to come to movies, why not say "Now with free reparations popcorn for blacks". I think that would be a better promotion. You could have a bunch of white upper middle class kids behind a one-way mirror actually picking the corn by hand and shucking it. Then picking kernels off the corn when its ready. Even a little song "Masa' got me workin', Daddy lost the trust fund, now me'sa gonna pick corn". I think the NAACP would get a real kick out of it.
- Scott
P.S. Has anyone else been seeing Angeline Holmes on TV every five seconds in that dammed Kay Jewelers commercial?
Friday, February 11, 2005
Mood killer
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I just noticed your new profile pic, Scotty. Why is it all dark and creepy?
ReplyDeletefirst... my roommate loves to read your blog and she doesn't even get on the internet...but we read it together and she cracks up laughing every time. Your valentine's post is one of her favorites.
ReplyDeletesecond... i saw angeline on that commercial the other night while watching american idol. i flipped out
Hey, I thought you were lying about that Angeline Holmes thing. That, or it was just a local spot. But is she the one talking with the kid who's like, "Do you want to know a secret? Ryan likes you blah blah blah buy your girlfriend a diamond and she pretty much has to do stuff." Is she that girl? If so, yowza. She's even cuter than I remember. Of course, the last time I saw her, she was bald and was calling me 6'4" instead of my name. She was choreographing for show choir. It was a cool thing we had going for a while. Because, you know, I love being reduced to my height.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteIt's totally her dude. In fact to prove it's her I'll post the transcript of the chat I had with Caroline about it:
ReplyDeletescottthecool33: DUDE!
scottthecool33: Is your sister in a Kay Jewelers commercial?
scottthecool33: if not,
scottthecool33: there's this chick that looks a rediculous amount like her
scottthecool33: ...which I noticed the third time I saw it
scottthecool33: The first time I made fun of the fact that not every kiss begins with Kay
scottthecool33: Because some are French Kisses
scottthecool33: or 'Freedom' Kisses
scottthecool33: And that starts with F
scottthecool33: And the second time I was like "what a whore, she has a kid and the kid is like 'Ooh, some random guy (who I call by his first name) likes my mom...we're so modern'"
scottthecool33: But the third time I saw it I was like "DUDE!"
airycarrie is no longer idle at 5:56:01 PM.
fairycarrie: tis her
fairycarrie: Angeline Divine is in the Kay Jewlers commercial
scottthecool33: I knew it!
scottthecool33: I'm a genious
scottthecool33: I can recogonize people
scottthecool33: That qualifies me as brilliant
Like most of my conversations the Scott:Other Person word ratio is like 1,300:7. But that pretty much proves it.
Also, Hales and co. thanks for the viewership I'll be sure to give you a shoutout in future posts.
- Scott
P.S. I deleted my comment and had to repost because I somehow misspelled the word 'ratio'. Yeah, I know. So you see why I needed to repost it.
Now that would be the coolest addition to the comment set-up ever: actually being able to edit your comments, rather than deleting the whole thing because of one misspelled word. But hey, one thing at a time, Blogger.
ReplyDelete