Bastard Wants to Hit Me

I just about got ran off the road by a soccer mom in a busted up Ford Windstar. I thought she just wanted to race, so I gunned it off the line. Surprisingly she did too, so we raced almost to the next light and then she honked her horn and gave me the finger because she had to get behind me in the line waiting on the light. All the while I pretended I couldn't hear her, put my hand to my ear and said "what's that". Oh, man was she pissed. I enjoy instagating road rage more than anything when I'm driving. There's a really classic story about the first time I did it, but I think I'll save it for when I can tell it in person.

In other news, I've just finished another semester at the illustrious RMC. Did I say illustrious? I meant festering-bureaucratic-crap hole relpete with the decay of individuality and humanity crushed under the mind numbing weight of farcical policies. Strange how easy it is to mistake one for one the other. The end of sememster crunch was bogging me down, so sorry for the lack of posts. Let me catch you up with some observations I made from my period of intense scholarly persuits:

Apparently the best way to watch assloads of TV is to need to study. I seriously believed that there was no way I could learn without commercials playing in the background. And while we're on the topic, as far as people I know in commercials, I'd say Angeline kicked Laural's ass if there was some kind of Jerseyville People Commercial Contest (JPCC).

Has anyone else seen the new Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper commercial? First of all, why do we need a paragraph to describe a soda? Remeber the days when you could just say "cola" or "root beer" now it 's 'I'll take a Diet Carbonated Grape Taffy Hotpants-Wearing Mr. Pibb". And I really think it's weak of Mr. Pibb to try to copy off Dr. Pepper, I mean, he didn't spend seven years in soda-college to have some upstart knock him off the market. But I will say this for the new, constitution-length named Dr. Pepper; they have a great ad campaign. It might just be the best use of a Muppets song in an advertisement I've ever seen.

In other commercial news, the new fragrance by Britney Spears surprises me, because I didn't think there was that much of a demand to smell like a cheap hooker. And even if there was, I thought Liz Taylor pretty much cornered the market years ago. But her perfumes aren't on the cutting edge, distilled from the removed carpeting and sheets of motel rooms. Ah, progress thy name is Spears.

That's it for today, I just wanted to get something out there. I promise that tomorrow will be a more substantial post. I'm out

- Scott