How can I be more offensive?

Well boys and girls, I've been stuck at the piss drenched hell hole that is RMC for too damn long. I may not have bitched about it before, but I'm in a wild mood so what the hell. Here's an idea of RMC, think of college. Ok good. Now take out all the good things about it. Add some insane bureaucracy, just a touch of 1950's conservativism, and two dollops of rediculous corporate America seminar cliches and there you have it. Slob the Bob Morris College. FUN!

As you can imagine it doesn't take much to create a stir in this place. And I've quickly grown bored of it. Don't get me wrong, the education is excellent. The only thing lacking is everything else. Anyhow, this weekend I am going to a place where I can (and must) exercize my antics on a much larger scale. That place is the college promised land: U of I.

So naturally my mind thinks, "How can I be noticed, how can I make a diffrence, how can I be more offensive?" Equally as naturally I think "Racism! Yay!" So, I think about racist groups. There's an old adage in Tennessee. Well, it's in Illinois, it's probably in Tennessee. It goes: "The smaller the minority, the better fighters they are" For instance, a black guy could kick my ass simply because he's more of a minority than I am. And a Cuban could kick his ass, because they're an even smaller minority. Indians can kick anyone's ass because they're almost gone. (But we can give them small pox blankets still. Score one for whitey).

This line of thinking brought me to an impass, who is the least small minority, or alternately the largest majority. Then it came to me: ASIANS! You know those bad drivers on the highway or the people who work at that buffett near your house or those people who smell like rice and fish on the bus. They can't really kick anyone's ass. (Karate excluded). So my costume.....(drumroll please......)



As I have been told, it is the "Most. Offensive Costume. EVER." Gotta love that - Scott