Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Why, we only live to serve...

So, the kinds of things I usually see at work are limited to the below:



Yes, that is Lisa Simpson you see in the fifth monitor. Anyway, that's what I generally see. But on Friday, I needed some delicious snacks to get me through the day. Heading upstairs to the floor with the employee lounge I was shocked to stumble upon Tech Industries' vast, racist conspiracy.



Sure, it looks alright on the surface. A black woman holding a phone. The rest of the poster just says 24/7, At Your Call: Ethics and Compliance Hotline. But look closer and see the truth!

The phone is attached to her; it literally plugs into her liver. We can only speculate that the sign implies you should just go to the nearest black woman with a phone surgically implanted to report something. Not only that, but that they couldn't even trust her with a cordless. Having failed only one graphics and design class, I can tell you that the underlying message here is: "Black people are servants, some of which come with handy tools built in."

It's an outrage, what with this being February and all. I did the only sensible thing... I found the nearest black woman and used her to call the line and complain. Sorted that out straight away. No need to thank me. All in a day's work.

- Scott

8 comments:

  1. Racism! Intrigue! Commentary!


    ...frankly I'm afraid I've shocked you all into a stunned, but respectful silence.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:44 AM

    So I just tried this trick....it didn't exactly work out the way you said it would.

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. Johnny's post contained his email address and I didn't know if he was cool with the masses at the Wonder Blog seeing it. So I deleted the comment. Here's what else it said:

    "Hiya, scott. My wife told me something popped up on her laptop from AIM. Sorry I missed you. You're a very good looking man, and honestly, I look up to you as a kind of personal hero. If you want, email me at REDACTED."

    Honestly, it said that.

    - Scott

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:44 AM

    Racism? What about gender discrimination. That poster is like an ad for everything that makes an HR department sweat about, anything that could get them sued anyway. Oh wait, I don;t know how you could BS sexual harassment into that, but I am sure there is a way...

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  6. BS? Everything I write is solid, well researched fact.

    ...but maybe I'll use your suggestion when there's a "Women's History Month."

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous4:12 PM

    1. I didn't say what you write was BS. I was saying that sexual harassment wouldn't have the solid material necessary like the aforementioned suits and would therefore need to be BS.

    2. Someone seems a little touchy...reading WAY too much in to my comment. I never expected this from you...

    ReplyDelete