Movin' up in the world.

I'm a fan of stereotypes. This is not, necessarily, to say that I'm a bad person. I just like to look at the elements that make up a person's life and come to a conclusion about them based solely on that information. This doesn't always appear to be accurate, but it almost always contains a few grains of truth.

For instance, until I was kindly and nicely thrown out of my last job, I was driving this:

Little acknowledged fact: Driving this car automatically signs you up for the AARP newsletter.

Sometimes when I drove this car I even smoked a pipe. And complained about the music the kids listen to. As a result of my car and my habits, I was demographically an old man in all but age and sex appeal. But as I said I got fired, and had a little quarter life crisis. I ditched the firm, wore flip flops and bought a new car (the wisest financial strategy when you have no income.)

Behold: Tom.

That's right. It's a Celica... named Tom. If you still don't get it, mouse-over for a hint.

New car, new license plate (ALT TAB), and a distinct lack of old person-osity. So now I skew young, irresponsible, wildly good looking, and nerdy. I believe that with time, I can live with this.

Another quick one to prove the theory:

My brother used to drive an old Dodge Ram, chew tobacco, and drink keystone. He was, demographically, a rural Midwestern college student. And probably a farmer.

But recently, he's taken out a loan to buy a motorcycle. He smokes menthol cigarettes, and he drinks malt liquor. My brother has become an inner city black man. Q.E.D. The theory works.