Sorry kids, but this was quite a week. I had a server go-live on Tuesday which required I wake up at 3:30 AM and work until about 6:00 PM. It was fun, but it totally f'ed my sleep cycle in the A for the rest of the week. And when my sleep is off how can I post? I reckon I can't.
And unfortunately I don't really have time to post now either, but since I love you all so much I'm making a compromise. I'll post between service calls and remote server software installs, recounting the three work things I laughed at this week. Away we go:
1.) Hour 8 of the Tuesday go-live, a transcriptionist wants to know how to use a very obvious feature of the program (second only to "play audio"). I had been through eight hours of explaining things to people that they should already know. I kind of snapped:
Me: "Step 1. Open eyes. Step 2. Point them at screen."
2.) Internet was flickering on and off to the annoyance of all. It had been down (again) for about 2 minutes when this little exchange took place.
Bryan: "Yea, Al Gore giveth and Al Gore taketh away."
Robyn: "It's back on, but for how long this time?"
Me: "We must make a sacrifice to appease Al Gore. Quickly, someone bring me an SUV! I'll build an altar."
and finally...
3.) Eavesdropping on my boss talking at her desk with a co-worker about dating a stripper.
Beth: "She has four kids? That's a lot of baggage."
Me, mumbling: "Yeah... literally."
Beth: "What?! Did you just say 'literally'?"
Me: "Yeah, if you ever take them anywhere, it's literally a lot of baggage. They all have their day pack, and their suit case, and whatever gaming system they're dragging around, and like one doll and half an old blanket... you're going to have to buy a conversion van. That's what I'm saying. Dating this chick means buying a conversion van. Just go to a dealership right now."
Friday, August 17, 2007
Too busy to post, too distracted to work.
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'A lot of baggage' and '4 kids' usually combine to mean something entirely different in my book. Especially when combined with 'Stripper'. Good save, though.
ReplyDeleteBeing Canadian, I don't get the Al Gore thing. Explain, if you will?
Alan, the answer to your question is filled with intricate nuances. I shall attempt to explain it to a foreigner.
ReplyDeleteAl Gore once said "I took the initiative in creating the internet." That line was used in several smear ads that implied that Al Gore said he invented the internet.
But that's actually true. He did create the internet. The way the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the mountains, and the trees, and Pirates.
In fact, Al Gore (we've decided) is the son of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, here to spread the Spaghedeity's message through his creation of the internet.
So, Al Gore is the God of the Internet. And to keep the internet he requires carbon-neutral sacrifices.
There. I feel I've proved that there's nothing funnier than explaining a joke.
- Scott
Thank you for the clafification. We don't have Internet gods in Canada; our fearless leader simply looks a bit like the lead singer of Green Day. If Green Day was made up of zombies.
ReplyDeleteClarification, sorry. Opera doesn't spell check.
ReplyDelete