Crush of the... Past?

Since entering corporate America, I've had little time to do the things I enjoy. Including developing new and intriguing crushes of the week. Fortunately I have what some would call a vault, and what the less couth might refer to as a "spank bank," of old crushes. But just because they're old, don't think they've gone bad. Most of these are still girls I still harbor crush-esque feeling towards, and one of these is the subject of today's post.

*doodley-do underwater music and a gradual fade to the wavy lines*

Crush of the Past:

The year was 2001. Disappointingly no Space Odyssey occurred, but I was a sophomore in high school and I had other things on my mind. Things like women. Frustratingly, the women on my mind were either fictitious (damn you, Rory Gilmore), married (damn you, Senora Wood*), or simply unattainable (damn you, my then-developing irresistible charm). Some have argued that all of these women were unattainable. These people are jealous of my now-fully-operational irresistible charm**.

But the girl in question fell in to the last category. Her name was... wait, I'm breaking with tradition. Might as well do this properly.

Her name: Laurel Shaffer.

Why she is (or was) crush worthy: A band called The Hippos once sang "Something in the way she never looks my way / I'm in love, I'm in lo-oh-ove." This was pretty much the case. As you might have noticed, I tend to attract a lot of attention. And not only for being so good looking. I'm also frequently at the center of lots of people laughing. With me or at me, either way they're entertained. She was never one of these people. And that intrigued me. She was aloof to the point of ignoring me, but it never came off snotty; it only made me try harder***. I think that was the quality I liked best.

Oh, she was also pretty hot. That factored in as well.

Bonus Material?: I often embed some YouTube link of the crush doing something adorable. There is no such material to offer in this case. She's currently working as an actress, she was even in a Clearasil ad that I'm sure you've seen, but there's not jack-all-squat out there for me to post. Hence, I'm forced to construct her visage by collaging. Here goes:

After several hours of fierce Photoshopping, this is the final product.

Basically I discovered an equation for Laurel rather than being able to accurately reproduce her. The hair, eyes, and head shape of Fiona Apple + the soft expression of Amanda Seyfried - any implication of ridiculously full lips = A rough approximation of this week's Crush o' the Past.

If anyone has a better effort, he is welcome to submit it.

* Senora, if you still read my blog, I'm mostly joking. Though a guy could do much worse.
** It became much easier once I found that watch with +8 Charisma.
*** I did finally get her to laugh when I was auditioning for improv teams. At which point I could have died happily.