Monday, September 11, 2006

DON'T FORGET!

Nuclear war starts tomorrow, so if you were going to... I don't know maybe pay some rent or tuition: don't. If you were saving your virginity for something... also don't. How do I know this? Well... I think we can trust Overseer Yisrayl Hawkins, don't you? He's from the AHOY*, the American House of Yahweh. When you're naming convention reminds people of a.) Pirates, b.) IHOP, you've set the stage for some entertaining commentary. If you don't believe me, take a look for yourself.




Now if you'll excuse the Overseer, he and Fred Phelps have to get back to ordering the assassinations of some homosexuals. And if they have time before the end of the world, they'll be going to a soldier's funeral with Thank God for IED's signs. And after that... maybe some grab ass.

- Scott

* Ok, so I gave them the name AHOY. But they'd use it if they had been clever enough to think of it themselves. So let's just pretend they do.

published with much attention to detail by Scott @ 9/11/2006 06:13:00 PM

10 comments:

  1. Nessa Happens6:35 PM

    Pfff...defiling mind and body at the same time...like THAT'S an achievement. I'd managed to do that by sophomore year of high school.

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  2. Anonymous9:00 PM

    I was just wondering if he could say uh uh just one more time.
    and by the way where do you find this stuff??

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:26 PM

    Actually when I read the name you gave them, AHOY, I actually thought of chocolate chip cookies. So add that to your list.

    -Anonymous Rex

    ReplyDelete
  4. C_thegreat11:15 PM

    I really like that oversized Bible he has.

    ~c

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  5. Rob7:12 AM

    It looked so much like some crazy infomercial that I kept... "This is the Prophetic Word Program"... waiting for those 613 laws to scroll down the screen like it was listing the tracks to... "This is the Prophetic Word Program"... a new CD box set.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous4:18 PM

    Well I guess the old prophet was wrong.:)

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  7. Scott6:54 PM

    Anon, that depends greatly on time zone. There's still at least 9 hours for him to be right.

    - Scott

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  8. Scott7:07 PM

    Oh, and I thought I'd explain to loyal readers why I haven't posted today (I have two topics in teh can ready to rock). Right now I'm stuck in a frusterating computer lab working on the most annoying newspaper layout bullshit imaginable. I'm screwing with font size, leading, kerning, lines, captions, style sheets, and not least of all photos.

    It's a class that everyone loves... to hate.

    - Scott

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  9. Timmy Tapeworm10:56 AM

    Are we safe? I think we're safe. Unless a nuclear war has started that I'm unaware of.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nessa Happens3:51 PM

    I'm so pissed. I had holed up in my bunker with my iPod, a stash of potato chips, and season one of battlestar galactica...for NOTHING.

    ReplyDelete

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