After a long hiatus, and an even longer period of not wanting to do this particular segment, I've decided to get back in the game. It's only lust after all, and as some of you choose to believe (to make yourselves feel better I suppose) I probably won't be sleeping with most of these women. Let's get down to business shall we?
My Crush ' o the Week
(seriously, she just gets one week)
(seriously, she just gets one week)
Name: Kimberly "Alexis" Bledel
Why she's crush worthy: First of all, I have to give props to a girl who masquerades as Alexis when her first name is Kimberly. I know that pain. I've overcome a similar hardship; my first name is Harry. You're forever explaining the origin of that name, why you're called something else, if you mind being called the other name, and what you think of your "real" name. However it's rare that a person can be forced to do that dance with each new aquaintence and remain so ridiculously good looking. In fact I only know of two examples, and I'm the other one.
All of this is not to mention her acting on the Gilmore Girls. If I could choose any girl from any book, film, or TV show to date there is no doubt in my mind it'd be Rory Gilmore. In fact, I'm sure if it ever comes up I'll have answered before the question is even finished*. Even if they follow up "but first, you have to sleep with Delta Burke." For Rory? I'd take the hit. Alexis was also charming in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. (Yes I watched it. Twice.) And she manages to make the movie tolerable.
Finally, she just seems clean. All the time. It could be her complexion, her demeanor, whatever. But (though we haven't met yet), I bet she always smells good. Mariah Carey, for whatever reason, I'd bet she smells like sourdough. And hooker perfume. Scarlett Johanson? Like old milk. Alexis Bledel? Really, really good. Nothing overpowering, just a hint of flowers. Something light. Something that draws you in closer. Ah she's lovely.
Scott Bonus: I was going to embed the video of her in the video for the (almost insufferable) Less Than Jake song "She's gonna break." However, I can't friggin' stand Less Than Jake anymore. Yes things are different from how they were when you were in high school. I'm glad you could eek out five albums on that concept.
So instead you get to watch this lovely interview on Conan. She's even charming when she's doing whorish product placement for Wendy's... which incidentally worked. So I'm off to get tasty 99¢ Five Piece Chicken Nuggets. Enjoy your video.
- Scott
First, I am pleased to see that my outrageous demands have been met. Well done.
ReplyDeleteSecond, regarding your name...well, it could be worse. Your first name could be Great.
I'm sorry...I'm genetically predisposed to making horrible, and often obvious, jokes. You may blame my father and the rest of the Irish side of my gene pool. Look at it this way...I prevented Jakey McJakesalot from having to do the honors, thus saving him an arseload of embarrassment. Because as we all know, I don't do embarrassed.
Unless of course you're a guy I asked out on valentine's day, who already had a girlfriend, and then after that I bump into you at a bar when I'm ridiculously drunk and dancing on the bar...and then you call me the next morning, and I apologize for being so drunk when I saw you and your girlfriend and joke about how I'm sure half of the city we were in saw my thong. And then you say "yes...it was black." And it was. THEN I do embarrassed. I'd say 'Scott, remind me to tell you that story sometime'...except I just did.
Excellent choice, sir. I am a big fan of Miss Bledel as well.
ReplyDeleteNow change the caption please.
Also, I posted about The Dionea House in January of '05. Just so you know.
That's probably the best characterization of Less than Jake that I've ever heard. Also, the album that song is on came out in 2003, further confirming my theory on when music stopped being good.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I don't care much for the insinuations that I would be seen as a potential purveyor of bad and/or obvious jokes. My comments never fail to deliver an abundance of nuanced, sophisticated raillery. You have besmirched my honor, madame.
my dearest, darlingest Jakey...It's not libel unless it's untrue. And, unless your name is actually Jakey McJake, I rest my case.
ReplyDeleteAll the same. Your words violate the spirit, if not the letter, of anti-defamation laws. I demand justice!
ReplyDeleteNessa, you're welcome. And by the way I enjoy the Back to the Future series, not only because the impeccable story telling, the Michael J. Fox that doesn't look oddly youthful, and the kick ass soundtrack, but mostly because of the frequency of Doc Brown exclaiming "Great Scott." It's like the exact opposite of taking my name in vain.
ReplyDeleteTimmy, I saw her first. Also, I know you posted on it. I had read it before you posted on it too. This is more of a recap because I've been re-reading my favorite online stories lately. And so should you.
Jakey, thanks I was pretty pleased with myself.
Nessa (again), technically it could be true and still qualify. But you'd have to be in a jurisdiction with a "false light" provision. Basically you'd have to say something true, but misleading.
Jakey, how about a little more talking about me.
- Scott
Wow-you are so right. She really does look like she always smells nice. I don't watch "Gilmore Girls" (I know), but I saw the Traveling Pants movie, and that girl's eyes are absolutely ridiculous. I mean seriously are they really that blue? It's insane.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to see more anti-crushes of the week if at all possible.