I'm a fan of punctuation as much as anyone. I love it. In fact, I love it so much that if I ever time travel and I meet E.E. Cummings, I'll punch that apunctilious "poet" in the face for what he did to my precious periods, commas and semicolons.
But even I will concede that there are places that punctuation does not belong. Namely, on your face. I've always held that this goes without saying, but apparently a large contingent of the garden variety sorority skanks I encounter on a daily basis don't feel the same way. Below is an artist's conception of the kind of "eyebrows" they regularly sport.
The Commabrow. (It should be noted that the "artist" mostly gets by on sizzling good looks.)
I invite anyone with the skill to fix it to clean that up. The inner corner shold be wispier, and there should be about three eyebrow hairs per square inch on the long portion fanning outward in an arch that makes St. Louis's contribution to the shape look meager by compairson. So not only do they look like an over-plucked, punctuation-faced tart, they look perpetually surprised about it. And in general, whoreish makeup should cake the face.
This has to stop. In the interest of bringing that about I'm making an announcement:
People of the world: Spice up your life.
Ahem. Not sure what came over me. Let me try again:
Tweezing women of the world: Your girlscaping is perfectly fine, but leave a realistic eyebrow. Provided you don't look like Bert, nobody will complain.
That is all.
- Scott
Unrelated. I just watched the video for White and Nerdy, and remembering that it is your theme song I have a burning question to ask you.
ReplyDeleteWhich do you prefer? Kirk or Picard?
What a lovely PSA.
ReplyDelete~c
Nessa, At the risk of having you ROTFLOL, I'd like to cast my lot with Picard. For several reasons.
ReplyDelete1.) He's clearly the better commander.
2.) While he didn't have hot alien sex as often as Kirk, he had it with higher quality women.
3.) Deanna Troi.
4.) He never solved anything with a karate chop.
5.) Tastes Great.
6.) Less Filling.
7.) No girdles.
8.) Picard's ship can orbit a planet in both directions (not just left to right; what is this Lord of the Rings?)
9.) (Stolen): Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulfur, potassium nitrate & charcoal and used it to fire diamonds into the hearts of his enemies. Picard is a starship captain, not MacGyver.
10.) Holodecks. (Is there a lock on the inside? There should be.)
Coors, that's what I'm here for.
- Scott
Scotty - may God strike me dead if I ever ROFL or LOL, damn you. You ought to know better.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I was totally quoting "White and Nerdy." You don't know how much it grated on me to even type it in jest.
ReplyDelete- Scott