Don't be hatin'

I've been through conversations like the below so many times now I feel I have to respond in writing. I do so here:

Typical comment #1: "You know that thing is going to break down in six years. I heard you have to get a new one after that."
Typical comment #2: "You know, they don't really pay for themselves. It would take like 100 years for them to pay for themselves."
Typical comment #3: "So... you're an environmentalist now?"

Response #1: Piss off. There are Prii (I loves me words that end in "i" when plural) used as taxis with upwards of 250,000 miles on them, and that have been in service since the first Gen version, and that came out in 2001.

Response #2: Oh no! Really? I had expected for the gas savings to pay off the mortgage of my house, put my grandchildren through college, and give me regular blow jobs! What will I do?! Oh, that's right. Nobody expects a car to pay for itself. Speaking of things paying off, how's that barcodesque comb-over working out for you? You know who you are...

Response #3: Pfft. I just ate veal, and mopped my kitchen with a baby seal fur. This is about cash and techno-lust, not activism. However, a certain type of woman has a very favorable reaction to a Prius, and I do encourage that.