This week you gets yer Top 5/Bottom 5 and yer Crush o' the Week all in one spectacular filler post! Celebrate people. Celebrate. And later, if you feel like it, represent. Moving right along.
This week's Crush of the Week: Sarah Silverman
Why her? Why the hell not? Have you seen her? But that's shallow, and as we all know, I like to conceal my superficial nature below layers and layers of reasoning. To that end, her work alone is endearing enough that I would have listed her sight unseen. No offense ladies, but I find very few female comedians funny. This is not to say I'm biased against them, but half of female standup is based on the "you know what? men are stupid! we're so much better than they are" formula. As a result few of them make me laugh. And even fewer do it in such a way that afterwards I'm attracted to them. I mean, Lisa Lampanelli is pretty funny, but even if she looked like Morgan Webb, she still wouldn't be crush-worthy.
Sarah strikes that difficult balance of funny, sweet, and completely filthy. If I were citing references I would point you to Jesus Is Magic and The Sarah Silverman Program. I mean, she named her show "The Sarah Silverman Program." I love her for that.
Further asskickery: She's quite the lady that Sarah Silverman. Not only will she date (and presumably have sex with Jimmy Kimmel) but she's also... you know what? There doesn't even have to be another thing. Making sweet, sweet love to Jimmy Kimmel is enough. God bless her. Not to mention, her physical beauty was enough to get me to purchase my first and only copy of Heeb: The new Jew review.
But for you good folk, here's two sources of the rich vein of Awesome that is Sarah Silverman. A little standup, and her guest spot on Loveline. I recommend watching the embedded now, and listening to Loveline whilst driving. Or vice versa if you prefer.
A good example of her work. Plus she looks smokin' hot here.
Top Five: Work Hours Time Killer edition
1.) The Loveline Archive.
2.) John Dies at the End. (Fantastic online horror story. Excellent time killer.)
3.) This wonderful drunk. (A deviation from the formula, but damn I love this story.)
4.) N Game, the last flash game you'll ever need. (And an addiction I've suckered my office into. Just download it and give it a shot. I promise, you'll never want for another game to play at work.)
5.) Nessa. (Because sometimes you just have to catch me in want of a number 5.)
Bottom Five: Abstract Concept edition
1.) Users. (Literally, the users of the network at Tech Industries... idiots.)
2.) Barr Realty.
3.) The utter lack of Add-Ons for real life to manage my assets. (If I can have a report of every copper piece I've spent in the last 38 levels, why can't these people make software that tells me the same thing in real life?)
4.) Shitty Work Internet.
5.) Smartfilter.
And that's all for today. Look forward to nerdery and camera hacking tomorrow.
- Scott
Sarah Silverman is amazing. She has awesome facial expressions.
ReplyDelete-Emma OUT
Yeah she is Emma. By the way I'm amazed at the speed at which you noticed this post. Were you... searching for Sarah Silverman posts or what? Either way, I suggest you get a job driving a premium ambulance. I picture you getting there just as somebody breaks their legs.
ReplyDelete"How did you know?" they'll ask. But you'll just smile your knowing smile between those pointed ears.
Well played.
- Scott
P.S. I picture you as the elven version of Emma Bunton. Just so you know.
I object to your crush primarily becomes of her inhumanly long and horse-like face.
ReplyDeleteCue the bar joke now.
My ducks, my dog is WITTY.
ReplyDeleteNanook, we agree on lots of women so I'll just accept that in this case your canine instincts lead you to select for different traits in a reproductive partner. I think her face is lovely.
ReplyDeleteNessa, I'm fast becoming concerned that Nanook is your Tyler Durden. Has he been reciting repetitious rules to you? Does he have a particularly virulent stance on materialism and the modern world? Does he seem to disappear whenever your significant other is around?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, that's pretty awesome.
- Scott
the first rule of newfoundlands is never to discuss newfoundlands.
ReplyDeleteNow all I need is to surround myself with an unending assortment of violent half-hysterical man-flesh.
And, of course, Jared Leto.
Yeah she is Emma. By the way I'm amazed at the speed at which you noticed this post. Were you... searching for Sarah Silverman posts or what? Either way, I suggest you get a job driving a premium ambulance. I picture you getting there just as somebody breaks their legs.
ReplyDelete"How did you know?" they'll ask. But you'll just smile your knowing smile between those pointed ears.
Well played.
- Scott
P.S. I picture you as the elven version of Emma Bunton. Just so you know.
Yes, I was in fact searching for Sarah Silverman. Actually, Google does the searching for me and e-mails me.
It's funny that you think I should drive an ambulance...I've wanted to be a paramedic since I was a little kid.
As for Emma Bunton, you're not completely off, but I don't really resemble her all that much.
-Emma OUT