Snakes at the Theater

Ok, this is going to be quick and dirty. But I know my audience and several of you like it that way. At least where reading is concerned. I just got back from the first showing of Snakes on a Plane. And I have this to say: It was phenomonal.

I don't say this in the sense that our extravagantly (rotund) over the top (...and around the sides) theater director used to. But in the "causing a phenomonon" sense. It was unlike any movie experience I've ever been a part of. This must have been what the original screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show was like... if it was highly anticipated for a year and a half by a rabid fan community.

Walking into the theater, I was giddy with anticipation. The film was showing (as it seems all new films do these days) the day before its official release date, but instead of starting at midnight they bumped it up to 10:00. Presumably to lure a few more people who would otherwise not be there. Steve's frat brother Rob said as we walked in "We could go see WTC." Which was met with disapproval on several levels. "Nah, we're going to see a different plane tragedy. A funny one." (I doubt I'll ever bother with WTC, both because I have no desire to spend $10.00 and two hours of my life on hero porn and because Nicolas Cage tends to annoy me.)

The energy inside was more palpable, more electric than at any event I've ever been to. Sporting events, concerts, religous experiences (and it nearly was one)... they all pale in compairson to the gathering of internet people at the 10:00 Snakes on a Plane in Champaign. They even came in costumes. One guy dressed in a suit and skullcap/goggles. I complimented his ridiculous outfit (as I too have felt the sheer joy that comes with dressing up for a movie) and asked about his 1930's pilot's goggles. He shrugged and explained that he didn't have any real pilot hat. "That's ok," I said, "it's kind of a Snakes on a Bi-plane thing." "The Prequel" Rob added. Such repartee went on all night. We waited anxiously for the movie to start.

And when it did, it did not dissapoint. It was somewhat formulaic early on; i.e. it conforms to the horror movie standard of people not getting killed until they are:

a.) doing drugs
b.) having sex
c.) black
d.) all of the above

But it picked up fast. Every line regarding snakes is going to get laugh as they are all as contrived and ridiculous as the actors could possibly manage. The witness (whom the plot centers on) could not act his way into a community theater production of Grease which makes for hilarious interactions between him and the rest of the cast.

One last piece of good news before I crash for the night and seriously consider revising this post tomorrow: I can assure you this; the line "I'm tired of these MOTHA FUCKIN' snakes on this MOTHA FUCKIN' plane," is on the list.

And cries of joy rang out when it was uttered.

- Scott

P.S. One note, it's just slightly more vicious than I'd like. A few completely unnecessary acts and deaths. So if you were going to go see it, I'd encourage you to. But if not, maybe I'd warn you off it.