When I was doing the photo tour of my apartment I noticed something. Those damned garlic chips were still with me. As a guy who prides himself on being appealing to all senses (even your sense of balance) this vampire slaying garlic breath could not be allowed to continue. So when I got to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth, Listerine'd, etc. And I noticed something. How I'd over looked it for so long I've no idea, but the truth of it hit me like a sucker punch from grandma.
What I noticed was this: when I brush my teeth, I look like I'm trying to get the plaque out of my mouth by sheer intimidation. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the original event. But, with your indulgence, here is a reenaction of the event mere moments after it happened. No names, faces*, or toothbrushes were changed.
Here we have a look that says "Look out for me Aquafresh. I killed the Crest Sparkle; he failed me."
Hot bi(cuspid) action. Oh, and an expression of warrior's rage.
I used to have an electric, but I kept biting off the end of it. The free ones from the dentist are much more durable.
And there you have it. One disclaimer: the above was inappropriate for small children. You had them in the room and they saw it? Yeah, they'll probably never brush again. Great parenting.
- Scott
Truly, this is an amusing blog post you have. The pictures are beyond words except for the last three. The first one you look like you might be coming down with pink eye. The second one you look a little demonic but the remixed of the remix you look like a constipated oompa loompa. lol... I don't know if that was your tribute to the original chocolate factory or what, but still very amusing.
ReplyDeleteHaha, thanks a-Nonny-Nonny. I'm not sure if you've been a frequent visitor to the Wonder Blog or not, but mediocre photoshopping is my forte. I don't really want to look demonic, I just discovered the "Burn" tool and played it for all it's worth.
ReplyDeleteI should perhaps just take those down as they screw with the flow, but they're funny to me as a kind of lame inside joke. One for you, one for me.
- Scott
I sliced it out of the post so people won't fall into the same "...errm one of them is scary, the others look like an Oompa Loompa has Pink Eye" trap thtat you did a-Nonny.
ReplyDeleteHere it is verbatim:
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* But as a bonus stage, here's a few altered versions of this series. Terrifying Tooth Brushing Picture #1. Terrifying Tooth Brushing Picture #2.
* Double bonus. I remixed the remix of the second one. In my first attempt it made me look like that one episode of Saved by the Bell where Kelly's face turns maroon, but then Zack spins it into a school spirit type thing and gets everyone else to do it. But that's fun too, so here it is.
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Holy Christ! Not being able to resist my voyeuristic urges, I opened the "Terrifying Tooth Brushing Pictures!" Big mistake...big, big mistake. I haven't seen such frightening images since the Bush inauguration.
ReplyDeleteI will surely have to check the closet for boogeymen tonight.
P.S. I love that episode of Saved by the Bell. That's the one where Kelly is running for Homecoming Queen and she tries this zit cream that Screech accidentally discovered that removes it immediately, but turns your face maroon hours later...
ReplyDeleteSweet.
The good news is, my marriage is no longer threatened by an attraction to you. The bad news is, my marriage is no longer threatened by an attraction to you.
ReplyDelete(Please, please don't take that seriously.)
You are Ate up!! Seriously ... why couldn't i have had a normal brother? Why god...Why.
ReplyDeleteross