girlFriends With ancillary Benefits

Don't worry, this blog isn't about to turn into a sickening "Scott and His Girlfriend" cutesy wootsey xanga-esque affair. I just noticed something that I thought was interesting. And I chose you to share it with. Feel loved people. Loved. H'ok, here goes.

So the girl is out of town for a few days. It's the first time I've found myself in this situation. I'm dating someone, so I really only need to be presentable to them. And they're not here. So then... awesome! Yesterday I think I had on about four shades of brown. None of them worked together. At all. Also, I haven't shaved since three days before she left. I look like a hobo. It's great.

I mean, my half-assed appearence is, of course, several orders of magnitude above that of the average person's, but still. I'm making no effort. I've often cited the Weezer song "No One Else" as an ideal for girlfriends. Most importantly (in this context) "when I'm away she puts her makeup on the shelf." I had no idea, however, that I intended for it to work both ways. Sure, I could shave, put on matching clothes, wear socks, look hot. But let's be honest. If I did that it would just lead to sex. Even if I didn't intend it, some girl would jump me on the way to my car. Nothing I could do about it.

This is really better for everyone.

- Scott

P.S. I promise not to become Alex Albrecht and mention my lady friend all the time. In fact, no more mentions for a week. Nay, a week and a half!