Back in Brown

Hark! Turn thy eyes to the east? What handsome visage greets thee? It is Scott! Yes, that Scott! Returning from a long, unexpected hiatus. How does this relate to AC/DC? Why would he choose an obvious play on Back in Black for the post title? Well, because he is back. And he's probably wearing brown. It's just kind of a theme with him. Humor it.

So, who's sick of Six Flags? I personally am. But I haven't even been near a computer in about a week. It's been pretty horrible. At first I went through withdrawal. I tried to blog from my cell phone. But it just wasn't the same. I just sent text messages to people. Oh God, it was torture.

But now, I've got the time, the inclination, and the relatives out of my bedroom; let me bring you kids up to speed on what I've done since that super exciting day at Six Flags:

• Went to my cousin's wedding. It was alright. I couldn't help but notice that her dress was ivory. Not quite white. Interesting... However, I think for your wedding you should wear whatever you want. Having an off-white is practically walking down the aisle with a scarlet "A" across your chest.
  
• Debated the subtler points of the Catholic Church. This was actually at the above wedding. I couldn't help but notice the ways in which a mass is more or less a game of Simon, wherein you follow the preist. And if you stand when you were supposed to kneel? Damnation. Also I noticed that the pews were intentionally uncomfortable. Forcing you to 1.) Lean forward on your knees, making you bow to the Lord whether or not you want to, and 2.) Concentrate on how much better it will be to be free of this worldly form. They also had the vaulted ceilings that draw your eyes heavenward, presumably for more reflection on God, but I got distracted because they had painted small triangles above the pulpit on the ceiling and all I could think was that a piece of the Triforce had to be hidden nearby.
  
• Bought alcohol for underage kids. Well Megan, the girl in question, and my brother and his date to the wedding. They "card hard" at 518 East Banquet Center, but they don't bat an eye when you carry off 4 drinks.
  
• Gave my 8 year old cousin one of my old computers. I also built him and his 3 and 4 year old brothers blow guns, taught them how to respond to "You want a piece of me?" (Only answer: "No, I want the whole damn thing!"), and explained PGP encryption so the government doesn't know what you're doing. Although in his case it's pretending to work for the FBI, we didn't quite get to the part about the joys of being a political dissident. There was also a lovely moment where we tricked their mom into beliving he drank vodka. Ah, good times.
  
• Received my grappling hook. At long last. Now I'm actively searching for things to grapple. And for a luchador mask. I have to keep my identity secret as I foil the meth dealers of Jersey County.
  

So that's what's been up. Now I think I'll change the Crush of the Week to someone attractive. Won't that be nice?

- Scott

P.S. I also got hit by a truck. But that's another post.