Here's a line I deleted from Monday's post: "A cold steak covering the puck shaped bruise on my leg, I bravely return to complete my duty, and indeed, my promise of posting Lucy Liu comparison shots." I don't need your sympathy. Unless it includes sympathy makeouts. In which case, I'm all for (some of) your sympathies.
It wouldn't have been an entirely accurate quote anyway. It was several steaks. Because when you're this hot, they cook themselves, baby. At least, when they're in contact with my bare flesh. It's kind of inconvenient, but I keep some seasonings nearby and enjoy a nice leg-steak dinner.
Anyway I just thought I should share with you the extent of my daring, my dedication to my team, and all-around manliness by showing you what I willingly dove in front of to prevent a goal. I don't recall who shot it, but they have one hell of a slapper*. Pics below.
Fortunately, my legs are removable for easy photography. Seriously, that gam looks a bit disembodied. And look at that bruise. Do you see anything odd about it? Any certain detail that seems unlikely? Well, how about a closer look.
So you can imagine how hard it had to hit for those to have any effect. It was my first game since I'd been promoted to the good line, and I was all about being hardcore so after it happened, and after my initial reaction of clapping my hand against it, I just kept on skating. Sadly we lost 10-3. But even so, I stopped the goal when we were at 2-2. It still counts as helpful/awesome. And reguardless, you all get a nice photoshoot of my legs. Don't think I don't know what keeps you comming back. Come for the raw sex appeal, stay for the stories.
- Scott
* English slang for whore. Good to know.
Dearest ducklet - put up a new post...staring at your gams every morning is starting to distract me in an unhealthy way.
ReplyDeleteI've been wondering whether scott-thigh* is better braised or grilled.
*Hilarious inside joke. Our farm here in New Jersey is called "Scotthigh Farm" because of the Scottish Highlander cows. I laugh and laugh...
Nice, buddy. Way to make the sacrifice for the team.
ReplyDeleteRemember, when in doubt, "Take the fall! Act hurt! Get indignant!"
Nessa, will do.
ReplyDeleteTim, don't think for a second that any coaching advice I give from the bench comes from any other source than The Mighty Ducks and Slapshot!. Astonishingly, most of the time people just agree.
- Scott