The gAy-Team.

Driving back from the hockey game last night was really my inspiration for the Crush o' the Week, odd though it may sound. I've been watching a lot of film noir lately (which translated as "black films" equally applies to my collection of Waynes Brothers movies) and I couldn't help recogonizing that I was basically driving through a scene. Big car, morally flexible driver, an environment that looks like it just stopped raining, an abundance of fog, and well placed lights casting sharply constasted shadows through the fog.

It was such a good setup I had to monologue a little. Casting about for a topic I settled on locker room taboos. You see, I had just come from a locker room. Post hockey game, lots of guys like to take showers. This is fine. However what's not as fine is just dropping trou and marching bare assed around the room to the shower.

In my high school days, showering after a game carried with it the same prerequisite as plans formulated by rag-tag special ops groups; the almighty distraction. Maybe someone sets off a MacGyvered together flash bomb, fakes a sudden case of pancreatitis, or announces to the room at large that they are gay and at this moment have decided to come out of the closet. During the beating, you slip (with boxers and a towel covering your genitals) to the shower.

Is this too much to ask? I've got about four guys on my team who will just remove all their clothes and saunter languidly to the showers. AND THEY SOMETIMES STOP FOR CONVERSATION! I'm all for nudity. But it has to fall into one of two categories. 1.) Comic, as in my ongoing appearances at people's homes buck naked. Or 2.) Sexy. As in my ongoing appearances at people's homes buck naked. This falls into neither category. In fact, if I cared to categorize it, it would fall under Horrible Nudity Crossing My Field Of Vision As I Lay Witty Comments About Our Opponents On The Rest Of The Team.

In short. Please be ashamed of your body. Thanks.

- Scott