In the style of Creed Bratton, I'm going to post a memory dump of all the things I referenced today, and thought "I should really flesh that out into a blog post." But I'm tired, so you get random Hedburg-esque nuggets of potential post material. Enjoy.
Why is it that women's fashion seems to revolve around taking what old people wore 15 years ago and slutting it up? Cases in point:
the "cowl necked top" = "whatever the fuck Rue McClanahan is wearing on the left of this photo"
gauchos = old woman culottes
gauchos = old woman culottes
big assed, gaudy hoop earrings = ...big assed, gaudyhoop earrings (this one is kind of obvious)
Why is it that every time they show a violent video game on the news it's being played at 2 frames per second? If you want to show us what's causing kids to shoot each other, have the decency to play it on a NEW computer. Shell out for something to replace your Amiga. Because it looks like a very dull slideshow on that piece of shit, newsroom PC.
Reader's Digest should come with spray-able samples of air fresheners the way fashion magazines come with perfume... because no one ever reads that rag except on the crapper anyway. Might as well give a nod to your audience: people taking dump."
If I start a band we'll play only ska covers of Mexican folk music. Our name will be El Chupa-SKA-bra.
You used to always see movies where at some point the ultimate evil would show up and manically shout "THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED!" Haven't heard this in a long time. Have we all learned our lesson? Time will tell. Also, sleepers will, especially if they wake up.
- Scott
Reader's Digest should come with spray-able samples of air fresheners the way fashion magazines come with perfume... because no one ever reads that rag except on the crapper anyway. Might as well give a nod to your audience: people taking dump."
If I start a band we'll play only ska covers of Mexican folk music. Our name will be El Chupa-SKA-bra.
You used to always see movies where at some point the ultimate evil would show up and manically shout "THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED!" Haven't heard this in a long time. Have we all learned our lesson? Time will tell. Also, sleepers will, especially if they wake up.
- Scott
10 points for the main theme of all trends are just recycled old trends (but old people trends is a quirky spin.)
ReplyDeleteAlso 5 bonus points for the ska band reference. As someone who was deeply entrenched in third wave ska music, I can guarantee you that the band would have been an instant hit from name alone. Ahh--SKAtalites, SKActober Fest, SKAmmodores...
Sleeper has awakened eh? Oh you'll hear it again, because (are you ready for this, you're not, trust me) THEY ARE MAKING A MOVIE VERSION OF THE DARK IS RISING BY SUSAN COOPER
ReplyDeleteHOLY HOLY FUCK!
And dude, in that series you can't MOVE for sleepers awakening.
I could go on about how old men have worn the same "20 years out of date" clothing for the last 60 years... and somehow it's all the same plaid and tweed outfits. But I won't.
ReplyDeleteIt's funnier that girls in their 20's are wearing what Bea Arthur schlepped around the retirement village in.
And as another brother in the 3rd Wave Ska Army (when do we get our History Channel special?) I fully recognize the awesomeness of the name. I just wish I'd come up with it when I was IN a ska band.
Nessa,
Sweet. I'm just finishing World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie Wars and I need a new novel to get into. Let's wake some sleepers.
Now as far as getting the Keymaster here together with the Gatekeeper...
The Dark is Rising is a series of children's books that if you haven't read yet, you must. But, let me be clear on this one, they ARE kids' books.
ReplyDeleteYoung adults, at the most.
However, it is best immortalized for me by the poem each book starts with, that is insidious and will replay over and over again in your head at odd and inappropriate intervals forever once you have read it.
All shall find the light at last, silver on the tree.
See what I mean?
When the Dark comes rising,
Six shall turn it back
Three from the Circle,
Three from the track
Wood, Bronze, Iron,
Water, Fire, Stone;
Five shall return and
One go alone
Iron for the birthday,
Bronze carried long;
Wood from the burning;
Stone out of song;
Fire from the candle-ring;
Water from the thaw;
Six Signs the Circle, and
the grail gone before.
Fire on the mountain
shall find the harp of gold
Played to wake the Sleepers --
Oldest of the Old;
Power from the Green Witch
Lost beneath the sea;
All shall find the light at last!
Silver on the Tree.
Incidentally, I don't know if you ever read it, but I am convinced you are the inspiration for the comic Cow and Boy
ReplyDeleteI feel so honoured to have heard most of these old-man-esque ramblings firsthand.
ReplyDeleteNessa, yes. They brought me in for some consulting work. I tried to set the tone as best I could but I was really only there the first two weeks. My rate is $215 for friends.
ReplyDeleteJakey, you're the unofficial (and frequently not used) vetting process here at the Wonder Blog. Also I happened to be riding in your car at the time.