In keeping with my commitment to calling all notes by their roman numeral, instead of just the much lauded "C" note, my title refers to the $20 bill. "Why?" you ask in that demanding tone of yours? Well, my vernacular has become infected with $20 words. The origin of this term is elaborate, and near impossible to condense down to a couple of sentences. I do so below.
In middle school I had a choral teacher who used to compliment me on my use of "ten-dollar" words*. Well, with inflation, and an ever expanding vocabulary (including the swear words of foreign languages) I think $20 is a fair sum these days.
Anyway, they've spread through my vernacular like cancer through a prostate. They started innocently enough. An "ubiquitous" here, an "ignoble" there. But suddenly I'm constructing sentences that are needlessly obscure. I think I literally said the other day something along the lines of:
"He'd do well to get that papuliferous ass of his out of my quarters before things get any uglier than necessary walking around looking like that."
Seriously? Saying quarters is bad enough (even if it was applicable) but I also felt the need to toss off papuliferous? Am I too good for the word, pimply**? Hell, most people don't know what I mean when I say "vapid."
Ah well... I guess it could be worse. Thank god it wasn't tabloid words; if anyone ever hears me reporting that someone has been "spotted canoodling with" someone else, or if I EVER call a singer a "sultry siren," or even worse, a "crooner***" may God strike me dead.
- Scott
* I have, on many occasions, been praised for my vocabulary, which I find strange because the praise often originates from people who wouldn't even grudgingly admit that I was smart enough to be trusted with fireworks.
** Yes, actually but that's more a matter of appearence.
*** Seriously, who talks like that?
Friday, January 19, 2007
Pass me an XX note.
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1.Crooner is a GREAT word.
ReplyDelete2. So is sultry by the way...
3. Upon moving to California I was shocked how many people didn't know a word I though was simple (vapid), especially considering it applies to most of the people and here all they are interested in talking/hearing about are themselves. Eh...what can you do? I know. fly a kite using the wind blowing between their ears.
I find it terribly unfortunate that, in a post detailing your expertise with words, you've inadvertently truncated "necessary" to "nessary."
ReplyDelete"Uglier than nessary."
TERRIBLY unfortunate.
J Fi, it's not a great word because of the image it elicits. One of a singer with his head back, mic held up in the air above his gaping maw making that throat rattling noise like Xtina does when she can't think of a better way to fuck up a simple melody. He's also probably singing a love song. Makes me ill...
ReplyDeleteBut sultry is ok when it's not paired with "siren." Most of it depends on delivery I suppose.
Timmy, I have NO idea what you're talking about. I checked it twice and it's spelled right. But even if I had spelled it wrong, it would have been because it was inside a quote, and therefore a dialect. Also, I never claimed perfect spelling. You try posting in a mad dash to get the thoughts out and see what your spelling score looks like.
- Scott
I love that there are two entries for ** and no single asterisk in sight.
ReplyDeleteThey say everybody's a critic, but apparently everybody's an editor.
ReplyDeleteFeel free to apply for the copy-writer position though.
- Scott
We edit because we care, my twin.
ReplyDelete